Episode 97: Finding Your Sensuality at Any Age and Utilizing It to Activate the Life You Desire

Have you ever wondered why it is so difficult to be comfortable with both your masculine and feminine energies? Victoria and Dr. Deb explore how to embrace both energies, while moving forward in the world with sensual energy so you can have the sex life, business life and home life that you have dreamed of.

Do not miss these:

[3:07] Coming from a variety of conflicting ethnic backgrounds when dealing with the concept of sensuality and sexuality.

[6:10] Being depleted by the masculine side of business and learning to nurture the divine feminine

[9:25] The magnetic power of full sensuality femininity

[13:46] The transformations that can occur from embracing your sensuality and even more powerful when doing it together with others

[18:52] Healing past trauma to really connect with others

[22:08] Surrendering to the process

[29:30] Victoria’s journey on embracing masculine energy and the addictive nature of it

[34:38] The Ecstatic Women Experience

About our Guest:

Victoria Vives Khuong is the International bestselling Author of “In a Matter of Seconds”, healing and shamanism teacher, spiritual leader, and host of the Divine Sexuality podcast. She has helped over four thousand women around the world to access greater fulfillment in their lives and help others do the same through energy healing and spirituality. Victoria emphasizes Divine Sexuality as the most powerful philosophy she teaches because it is at the foundation of femininity and womanhood. Divine Sexuality facilitates women’s ability to positively relate to their bodies, to their partners and to their sexuality.

https://VictoriaVives.com/divine

https://VictoriaVives.com/divinesexuality

https://instagram.com/victoriaviveskhuong/

Transcript for Episode #97: “Finding Your Sensuality at Any Age and Utilizing It to Activate the Life You Desire”

 

Dr. Debra Muth  0:00  

Victoria Vives Khuong is going to join us today and I love this lady. I met her a few years ago at a podcast event that I was doing. And she just lit up the room ladies, it was amazing to see her glide and move around the room with so much intent and so much confidence. And I can’t wait for her to share her story with you. And for us to have a conversation about sensuality, and women just learning how to empower themselves with self esteem and sexuality. So my friend Victoria is an international best selling author of the book called in “A Matter of Seconds”, healing and shamanism teacher, she’s a spiritual leader, and the host of the Divine Sexuality podcast, she has helped over 4,000 women around the world to access greater fulfillment in their lives and help others do the same through energy, healing and spirituality. You know, I am so happy to have this conversation today because I did some of this very similar work in Spain where Victoria’s from with a different teacher before I knew Victoria, and this is just amazing work, it will change your life. So I’m happy to have her come and talk about this with us. And our conversation today is going to be about loving spontaneity, and self esteem and our sexuality. So please enjoy this conversation with us.

 

Dr. Debra Muth  1:51  

Welcome to Let’s Talk Wellness Now! I’m your host, Dr. Deb. This is where we talk about everything wellness, and learn to defy aging, and live our lives on our own terms. I would love to invite all of you to meet my dear friend Victoria, Venus Kwan. She is just such a delight. You guys are gonna love her. She is going to talk to us today about sensuality. So welcome to the show, Victoria.

 

Victoria Vives Khuong  2:22  

Thank you so much. Hi, everybody’s so happy to be here with you. 

 

Dr. Debra Muth  2:28  

Oh, girl, I just love your energy so much. It’s so awesome. So tell us a little bit about yourself!

 

Victoria Vives Khuong  2:36  

Yes, Oh, my goodness. Okay, so I’m from Spain, and I grew up in a very conservative regime. So all these energy out there that you see was not always expressed. And I was kind of quiet, you know, it was a dictatorial regime, and then very, very repressed. And when we talk about sexuality and anything like that, so it was a completely different environment. In my household, my grandmother was very conservative as well, thank goodness, my, my mom and my aunt were a little bit more,  don’t know “out there”. So that helped. Absolutely. But truly, I had a lot of stigma around saying sexuality and sensuality within me. I don’t know if it came because of the dictatorship, the Catholicism, the part that is German, or some have a combination of these. But then I have my African side, my dad is from Nigeria, so I had these fiery energy inside. And, you know, like, me, six is amazing. So it was a little bit like this, how I put these conflicting energies, these forces in alignment and how I can make peace with it. So it was a lot of that in what a lot of things happen. I went into energy healing, excuse me, energy healing. And finally I realized, you know, for more healing that I do, unless I heal my sexuality, which is fundamental to us is what it means to be a woman what it means to be a man, unless we heal that it’s like, we don’t have foundation. It’s like a wheel that has no noise. And it doesn’t really contain the healing. So that was my experience. I had to heal my sexuality in order to really move forward.

 

Dr. Debra Muth  4:33  

You know, that is so true. There’s so many times that we don’t look at how those things that were raised and taught as children affect us as adults. And I had a very similar upbringing, very conservative, you know, it was one of those households where the conversation about sexuality was if you come home pregnant before you’re married, have a seat on the railroad tracks and don’t come home. And so it was was very, you don’t think of it as traumatic, you just kind of think of it as that’s it. But then when you start doing healing and you start doing processing work, you realize there’s that trauma that was there that you just kind of suppressed because it was everywhere, right. And so I did a very similar approach to what you did in training. Gosh, it’s gonna be almost two years now, in Spain. And so I went and did that sensuality, training and teaching with other women and learning how to have relationships with women, because that’s very hard for me, I’m very masculine, too, I do much better with men than I have in women in my life. But I wanted to change that I wanted to have that openness. And I wanted to know how to address that soft side of me again, because I felt like in business, and I’m always in that masculine side, and I wasn’t living from my true feminine side. And so I did a very similar journey that you did. And it has opened up amazing things for me in my personal life, but also in my business life, you know, when you start to move on that sensual, soft side of you, business changes for you. It’s crazy.

 

Victoria Vives Khuong  6:10  

Everything changes in our lives with this. And what I noticed is that as business women, as you mentioned, we get to this masculinity and we start getting depleted. And it’s almost like life don’t have any more meaning. Yeah, just work in and focus on me high achieving women. And you know, that is so much more to life. And we realize that when we start nurturing our divine feminine, and really instead to push through our business to accomplish things, is allow, like surrender and allow things to happen open to receive, which is the feminine, and just to start healing ourselves, because there is so much that we are carrying all this burden from past generations sometimes that were passed down to us. And we don’t want to send this to the next generation. So we want to start healing this stigma about sexuality. As you mentioned, relationship with older women, sometimes we don’t know how to relate. So their relationship with our bodies with the same gender, the other gender, all of this is essential for us to feel comfortable in, in our lives.

 

Dr. Debra Muth  7:19  

Yeah, I think so much of the feminine energy has been suppressed, you know, then we have the feminine movement, and that was great. And then things kind of switched again. And now we’re now I feel like we’re as women were somewhat lost, because we want to bet be that feminist, but we also want that soft site. And so how do we balance both of those and function in this world that we have today? 

 

Victoria Vives Khuong  7:45  

Absolutely. So we really achieved Amazing, amazing things. As women, we were able to be equal to men with this feminist movement. And this was super important to us. What happens now is that we don’t have the bandwidth to be both the nurturers have been our femininity, and also the masculine aspect. So we are completely broken away, like like really torn apart, trying to feed everything, and we forget about ourselves. So all that energy without we have, we want to build our business, we want to nurture our families, and then we don’t really practice that self care for us. And unless we start there, the rest is just going to vanish. Yeah, so it is so important. And when we identify ourselves as women as men, the balance between the masculine and the feminine, is what is so fundamental. Yeah, to really understand that these two energies, we all have them. And if we forget about them, because our society our way that we normally leave like here, especially in places that are more advanced, we are so masculine. We need to to bring more of that feminine energy, so that we are able to enjoy what we are seeing in our lives.

 

Dr. Debra Muth  9:04  

It is so true, because you’re right like I know so many women that want to accomplish so many things, and it’s often talks about is that that’s our masculine side that helps us accomplish all of that. But it doesn’t have to be just that our feminine side can accomplish things and do things correct.

 

Victoria Vives Khuong  9:25  

Absolutely is a powerful force is the creative life force energy within us that sexual energy and it can really makes us become magnetic. Like there is nothing as precious as a woman entering the room. She’s in her full sensuality femininity, and he’s grounded in it is connected to her nature because we forget that we are part of nature. We are part of Mother Earth and we forget about those primal energies that we have. We spend most of the time focused on our minds connecting with it for me being intellectual, we forget how important it is to use the other side of the brain, the other hemisphere, the right hemisphere, and tap into things that are more abstract that we don’t need to process intellectually. So we need to embrace that. And when you see somebody like that you see them and they like free, like the wild, and it’s like, wow, you know, they magnetic.

 

Dr. Debra Muth  10:23  

It’s so true. Because when I see a powerful woman like that, who’s like really just rocking her being walk into a room, it’s like, all eyes are on her. And everybody is watching to see how she moves and what she does and how she interacts with people. And it looks like it’s so easy, and they’re so confident in it. And I know it took time for them to be comfortable in that it wasn’t like they woke up one day and it’s like, Yes, here I am. I’m home in here before here I come right. It takes work for us to be comfortable in that energy because of what society has put on us all these years, to make us push that energy away. Correct?

 

Victoria Vives Khuong  11:06  

Yes, so what I notice is that instead I traveled the world. And Ay, ay ay ay ay ay perform with people from different places. So for a while I was performing some bar with Brazilian and Cuban people. And you would see them they didn’t have any problem embodying their sensuality, their energy, expressing freely. Like from eight in the morning, they were on fire. It was amazing. So it’s a lot when we come into being civilized, being intelligent. And now we become so serious, that we are not in the present moment. And we forget that these all these sanity that that we can connect with, it’s actually part of our health. Like, if we want to stay healthy, we really need to be present in our bodies. So feeling good in your body. Like I see women sometimes that they may not be the stereotype that we see in the masses, but they are so confident in their bodies, they feel comfortable, they feel beautiful, they don’t care about anything else, and they’re going to feel gorgeous, and just go out there and just be themselves. So this have come forth in our physical vehicle, so that we can express our soul at 100% is this magical? First, it is awesome,

 

Dr. Debra Muth  12:25  

because you know, I hear this day in and day out my practice is primarily women. And so many of them want to learn how to feel comfortable with who they are now, how they look now at 50 or 60, compared to what they looked like at 20. And it’s so big effort for that, like, it’s hard for us to accept that our bodies are changing, and that we’re different, and that we’re not that 110 pound, you know, stick woman that we were when we were kids. It’s a real big problem for women who accept themselves for that.

 

Victoria Vives Khuong  13:03  

Absolutely, we see the magazines, the standard of beauty is, as you said, 20 year old 110. And we don’t realize the beauty, the wisdom, the the space that a woman that is mature that has lived that that is like it’s this wisdom that they have. That is so precious. So in my groups of women, I had a group that specifically I always think of this incredible woman. So I have people that come in, they are in their 20s 30s. But I had this older woman. And in the beginning she didn’t feel beautiful. She was like oh my goodness, all these goddesses. And then here I am. So she didn’t share how she felt in the beginning. But then as she was sharing, she started transforming. And she has started learning things that we can do, to feel better in our bodies to understand our role in the community, which is precious and so important and essential. And if we go to ancestral traditions, we understand more of all of that. And also understanding that her beauty and her threshold of her sexuality, most the most incredible gift, even at her age, and there are things that we can learn to make our sexuality better. So this was one of the stories that I always remembered and it opens my heart so much because she completed the training just feeling like a goddess.

 

Dr. Debra Muth  14:36  

That is so awesome. You know, I when I went to the sensuality training to I was the oldest woman there. So I didn’t feel uncomfortable when I was the oldest woman there. There were other women you know, in their 40s and there were some younger ones in their 20s but it was interesting to watch how all of us just kind of shared our Hearts sorrows and the things that we wanted to learn to love about ourselves. But every woman, regardless of the age, all had the same issues. And that’s accepting of who we are as women, and shedding those family values that have been placed on us that we don’t want to carry anymore. And if I was so happy to see younger women doing that, because I would have loved to have access to something like that when I was 20. And it’s great that they’re learning that now because they’re not going to carry that for 30 years with them. You know, they’re going to embody that and go into the world and bring that feminine energy from the very beginning. And that’s awesome,

 

Victoria Vives Khuong  15:40  

So precious, so precious. Oh, my goodness, that’s what I always feel that my grandmother was leaving during war. So she didn’t have the opportunity to say, I’m going to go to this incredible retreat. She never even imagined that this exists that, but nowadays, we have this opportunity. And it’s almost like I feel that responsibility to transform what it means to be a woman and enjoy our sexuality. So that’s why I’m so passionate about it. And sometimes there are things that we are suffering in silence. And we might not feel comfortable to tell our friends or our beloved, or our psychologies, but when we come in these circles with the intention and the purpose of healing together, we share things and we realize, oh, my goodness, everybody can relate like each woman in this room understands exactly what I’m saying. So he saw a freedom that comes from that, and understanding that we are together in this and we are transforming all that a stigma together.

 

Dr. Debra Muth  16:40  

That is so true. And you know, it’s great to see people recognize that even though you may be 40, or 50, or 60, you can still have an amazing sex life, our sex life has to change as we age, it’s not going to be what it was when we were 20. No matter how much we want it. Our bodies can’t do some things that it used to do as we get older, but to know that you can still have an amazing sex life and sex doesn’t have to be what we think it is. I mean, when I went to this retreat, and we were talking about sexuality, and when men get older, and they don’t perform the same way that sex doesn’t have to end. And it was shocking for a lot of people to recognize like, yes, sex may be different, but it still can be that intimate connection. It we just have to look at it differently and accept it differently.

 

Victoria Vives Khuong  17:30  

Absolutely any you know. Like, I don’t know the word in English, but like sharing with you secretly here. I mean, I had for the most part of my life, a terrible difficulty having orgasms. Now, I really can have multiple orgasms that I never had before. Because I release all these blockages, I understood my body, I understood how to connect with my partner. So all that wisdom, sometimes we don’t have it in our 20s not necessarily needs depends, of course you need to fast but sexuality can get better and better. Is this understanding how to flow through it and how it transforms? Absolutely, absolutely. 

 

Dr. Debra Muth  18:13  

And I glad you bring that up, because so many women are disconnected from their bodies, because they don’t want to feel pain. They felt pain for a variety of reasons, whether it’s emotional or physical. And so they just turn off parts of their bodies, so they don’t feel anymore. But as we do that, we start not feeling other things too. And when you can start to release those blockages, and you can actually feel again, it not only helps you in your emotional world, but it helps us in your physical world too. Because I see that everyday people have pain. That’s not physical pain, it’s emotional, trapped pain that’s causing the physical pain, but they don’t know that and they don’t know how to move it.

 

Victoria Vives Khuong  18:52  

Absolutely many of us have been abused to some extent. And when we have that experience, when something that is meant to bring connection to another human being becomes something that we are afraid of something that we have lost that is so precious. So unless we go and heal that trauma and and really start transforming that and understanding, you know, we can release these from our bodies because it’s a visceral reaction that we have to this, you know, we can try intellectually to understand our own you know, it’s okay, I overcame it, but it’s not that, like, then somebody touches you and it’s like, oh, my goodness, I feel violated. So we really need to go and heal that trauma, and start releasing those blockages, also, the conditioning, if we had this very conservative regime growing up or things like that, we need to be able to release that because otherwise, every time that we have, the desire to connect and bond with our beloved is going to come in between like I remember so many times. Feeling so fiery and passionate. With my beloved, and then it’s like a thought you’d have seen there, oh, maybe I shouldn’t do this, why I’m so impure, you know, you can now enjoy. Like, like driving and you are wanting to accelerate and then the break and it’s not possible. So we need to release all of that. And that’s what I do normally with, with my work, just helping women releasing this block. So much of that can get trapped in our subconscious, that we don’t even know it’s there until you start doing some of this work and you start moving it, and then you finally actually can heal from it, it’s such an powerful thing for us. It is because it’s very little that we can keep in our conscious awareness. You know, if we, we have all these memories for everything that happened in our lives. So what we are able to really focus on, consciously so little. So unless we start releasing all that information that is all over our bodies, that we remember what happened viscerally unless we are able to feel that we cannot truly feel that place of self actualization, what I called the ecstatic moment experience, 

 

Dr. Debra Muth  21:19  

Oh, I love that I love. I know when I was doing some of this work, too. And we went through some of the exercises, it’s amazing how in your mind, you may not know where the fear or the anger or the hurt is coming from, you don’t really remember the whole thing that happened, you just know that something’s moving. And that’s the grace of this work is that you don’t have to remember the trauma to heal the trauma. And I love that because sometimes people’s trauma is so severe that they don’t want to relive it and they’re afraid. But you ladies, you don’t have to, you don’t have to do that to get over this and be the person you’re looking to be that’s the gift of all of this.

 

Victoria Vives Khuong  22:08  

I agree when we couldn’t communicate with our subconscious, many times is metaphorical. So it doesn’t have to be factual. And then another thing that happens also, is that when we go through this process, it’s more painful when we resist it, than the moment in which we just surrender and say, Okay, I’m going to go through it, because it’s almost like we it’s almost like carrying in your hands are a frying pan that is burning, and it’s like, oh, Aha. And I don’t want to look at it. Okay, I look at it, and I leave it, and then you’re free. So he is like years and years of suffering, carrying these around with us. And then the moment that we say, Okay, I surrender to just go through it, and feel it just one one time. But now we go through it, and we are in the other side. So that’s another experience that I had in some of my students have had, that they are able to Oh, wow, you know, it was more painful. All this time that I resisted it, that now that I surrender, and just let it go,

 

Debra Muth  23:15  

yeah, I felt the same way. Like I was carrying around this burden from over 10 years ago, a trauma that happened in my family, and every six months, it would come up. And it was like clockwork, every six months. And it took me a while to figure out the pattern. But something would happen. And I’d say okay, why again, and now all these painful memories and feelings were coming up again. And then it’d be two, three months, and I finally get over it. And then here it would come again. And I started to feel like I must be attracting this somehow somehow I’m attracting whatever it is to come and bring this back up. And that was one of the things when I went to Spain to go to my program to I said, I want this to be gone once and for all i want to heal it, I want to be done with it. And I came back and it got started. If six months later, it didn’t happen again. And I was like, Okay, I am done with this. I walked through this, then I’m walking through this now. And I’m going to do what I need to do. So it doesn’t come up again. And I took a hold of it. And I did it and I passed through it. And now it’s like, I don’t have those reactions every time somebody says something or I hear something or, or whatever memory brings it back up. It’s just like, okay, it’s gone. I’m done with it now. And it can happen but it takes some work to do it, you know? 

 

Victoria Vives Khuong  24:41  

Yes. And you know, that experience that you say every six months is like no, no, yeah, I must be here. So life is the best teacher is no way to escape it. So he’s going to be like, Hey, I’m here to still. Are you ready?

 

Debra Muth  24:57  

Yeah, you ready to deal with me? yet?

 

Victoria Vives Khuong  25:00  

Like, it’s just amazing. Sometimes it’s a little fastidious, like, I don’t want to deal with it. But it’s always for our greatest good. So as long as we trust that and we say, Okay, I’ll do it. On the other side, there are incredible things.

 

Dr. Debra Muth  25:16  

There are and, you know, I don’t care how long it’s been bothering you, there is a way to get rid of it and just deal with it once and for all. So you don’t have to be carrying it around. It doesn’t serve us anyway.

 

Victoria Vives Khuong  25:30  

Yes. So for me, the word, the word healing represents not only healing your trauma, but also there is always a new layer, like you can always go to greater self actualization, awareness, happiness, there is always another layer, for example, in Chinese medicine, traditions, that is the idea of first we need to recover ourselves, then maintain that health. But then we can go once we are feeling well, we go to tonification, which is now we go for longevity, like I’m doing great, but there is more. Yeah. So is that idea that even when we are feeling great, what is the next you know, like, like, I am excited to go to the next level. Today, I have one awesome idea, more bonding more experiences, more joy in life, how we can continue developing that awareness and that understanding and know thyself. So we are able to transform.

 

Dr. Debra Muth  26:31  

Yeah, that is so true. You know, and especially mature relationships, like I’ve been married 30 years. So my partner and I know each other pretty well. But when I went to this, I was like, I want to experience something completely different. Yeah, we were a little boring. You know, we could tell exactly what each other was going to do. And it was like, okay, whatever. But I was the one that said, I want something different. I want to experience passion again, and I want our relationship to be different. And let’s do date night, let’s focus on each other. Let’s explore things like we did when our relationship was young. And I was so glad that I did it. Because now it’s kind of like I have a brand new relationship. And it’s exciting. And it’s fun. And I’m dressing up and wanting to look nice again for him. And it’s it really makes you feel like a woman again, it makes you feel like this is what I meant to do. It’s so wonderful. 

 

Victoria Vives Khuong  27:26  

That’s so beautiful to hear. Deborah, that’s so important because it is true. I mean, I have not been married for three years, but I’m about to reach 14. So I absolutely see that in and we need to continuously think, Okay, what is the next step? What can I do to really reconnect and stay alive? Because otherwise it will stop growing?We are dying. 

 

Dr. Debra Muth  27:57  

That’s right. That’s right. And, and I think if you want to, if you envision your life, the way a love novel is, or you want to be swept away, as a woman, we have to do something to help make that happen. We can’t just think it and not put it out in the universe and not tell somebody that we want it we we have the luxury in this day and age to do what we need to do to make our desires happen. You know, and that’s a good thing. Because there was a time we weren’t able to do that.

 

Victoria Vives Khuong  28:28  

That’s true. And now we we have an excuse me that we have that freedom. And also, as women, we really can hold these are already sysm and really bring all the warmth and the fiery energy and excitement to the relationship like we have it easy. Because our men are just going to be like, Oh, my goodness.

 

Debra Muth  28:52  

yes, that’s what they’ve been waiting for us to do for a very long time. So you have a secret that I would love for you to share. I learned something about you in your past life. Maybe you have some very masculine energy at one time. Will you share what you used to do? And you may still do but I don’t see you in that light as much. But you were you were a dynamic like a Shiro thing.

 

Victoria Vives Khuong  29:30  

Thank you, you know, so let me let me share how this started. When I was growing up, I was in this household of women, just three women three mothers I am going to go into an only girl school. So I was like fed up because in Spain, in Spain being a woman was like second class and I was like, I want to be the next loser. I gonna be like, man. So that was my goal. like okay, I can win. Go with the men and learn how they do it and be successful and powerful. So that was my desire. So finally, I found a man that taught me how to start martial arts doing a standard work, fight choreography. And it just exploded. Like I became super successful. So I have like 5 million views on on YouTube. I do a lot of work In India, in Universal Studios for Call of Duty, I did a lot of work. And yes, I was like, wow, powerful kicking, guys, you know, like, I went in that direction. The thing is that I was getting too much, you know, I was like, Okay, okay, calm down Victoria. And then he was almost like, he turned around, he’s like, okay, martial arts, now let’s go into healing arts to combine a little bit imbalance.

 

Dr. Debra Muth  31:01  

And part of that is because that masculine energy is so addicting, right? I mean, it’s like, you have it and you want more, and you get more powerful and more powerful. But that’s when we really start to lose our feminine side. And so it’s so nice to hear that you found balance that I did the same thing. Two years ago, when I went away, I said, I have to find balance, because I’m driving, driving, doing doing conquering, and I’m loving it, the more I’m doing it, the more I’m loving it. And then the more my relationship is pulling away from my partner, and then I’m starting to, like, dictate us, like, you know, I’m not one of your employees. I’m like, Yes, you are. And I had to check myself like, oh, wait a minute, you know, I have to be in this relationship as a feminine, not as another masculine, and actually started to see where I was, the masculine is de masculinizing him a little bit. And not on purpose, but just by total accident, because I was the stronger personality. And I needed find that balance, too. And I’m working at it every day, and I’m finding it but every day is its work to find that balance.

 

Victoria Vives Khuong  32:13  

I totally believe I have been there. And you know, I feel that as women, we have this capacity of really become the men like the Masculine force, and almost become a little scary sometimes. And it’s so empowering. Like, I can take the world. And it’s sometimes hard because especially for people, I don’t know how it is here in more in the US. But where I grew up, like, we were really limited as women, so it was like, I just don’t want to be limited, you know, you have to be powerful. Why? Why I cannot be powerful. So once you feel it is like, Okay, I’m going to take it all in, you know, he can be self destructive in some ways. So, yeah, basically, I crashed and burned. So I said, Okay, okay, let’s balance a little bit. And then I went in the other direction, super feminine. And then it’s like, Who am I. And that’s when I also started more with divine sexuality and balancing my energy within making sure that my masculine is supporting my feminine. And I can be in that balance, so that I don’t demand too much from my husband. And, you know, we just need to balance that within us in order to be in harmony with others.

 

Dr. Debra Muth  33:37  

Yeah. And I think that’s so common for women to go from one extreme to another as they’re trying to find that balance and explore. And, and I’ve been working with women for 25 years. And every time it’s the same story, it’s a woman that crashes and burns that has to be rebuilt from the up. So ladies that are listening to us if you haven’t crashed and burned know that you don’t have to get to that place to enjoy this luxury that Victoria and I have learned because of the hard way you don’t have to get there you can do this before you crash and burn and have the life that you’re looking for.

 

Victoria Vives Khuong  34:18  

Absolutely. Listen, go balance law knows.

 

Dr. Debra Muth  34:25  

Exactly. So Victoria, I would love for you to share -you have a program that you teach women how to do this. Will you share with us how that works and what that looks like?

 

Victoria Vives Khuong  34:38  

Absolutely. So I have the ecstatic woman experience. So in this program, what we do is we go through five hidden traumas, we are able to release the traps that that are keeping us away from the ecstatic woman experience. And we are able as a community of women to really transform these five aspects. So one them is this of this aspect of depletion of being so much in our masculine, that we are not able to reconnect with our feminine. So I know that one is going to be to be able to move beyond sexual guilt, when we have this conditioning on your to slavery, or just to the student have these feelings, you know, all of that, or people is going to look at me. So release in that other trap. Another trap is going to be how we feel with our bodies, regardless of our age, and how we can enjoy six quality out our best any age that we are.

 

Victoria Vives Khuong  35:39  

Another one is to have that sisterhood that is the companionship to really know that somebody has gotten your back knows exactly how you’re feeling through this, and can be there for you. And then also, we’re going to work with healing sexual trauma, because we can learn all the sex postures that we won’t, unless we release all the trauma, we’re not going to be able to enjoy sexuality if we don’t feel safe. So we go through those five aspects, and making sure that we have the process to not just work intellectually, but go deep into our subconscious. And being able to release any pain, any trauma, and embrace that ecstatic experience.

 

Dr. Debra Muth  36:24  

I love that that is amazing. And that’s what all of us as women need to be whole again, we need to shut these things to be whole.

 

Victoria Vives Khuong  36:35  

And I actually have the book if anybody wants to learn more about these five hidden traps. So I have that ebook. I don’t know if this will be immediate, but if it is the five secrets to become an ecstatic woman. So it’s a free book on my website, http://www.victorisvives.com/divine.

 

Dr. Debra Muth  37:05  

And for those of you who are driving, don’t try to stop and write that down. We will have that in our show notes. It’ll also be on our social media. So you’ll be able to find this link very easily. So Victoria with the pandemic that’s going on right now, are you still meeting with women in person? Or are you doing things more virtually right now?

 

Victoria Vives Khuong  37:25  

More virtually, yes. And we are eager to come back to the time that we can meet in person because there is a lot of work that has a difference when we are able to be with one another. Yeah. However, they online work and be incredible. And he has been incredible, especially to support us in this time, where we don’t have the opportunity to connect and hug so many people feeling that oxytocin and feeling so nurtured. So it’s so important to maintain them and be able to share that self care, and also bring the healing home. So what I love for the courses that we did in 2020 that were online is to be able for each of the women to create their space, their sacred space for sexuality in their home, and we were meeting and you were seeing all these beautiful places. And they created this space to nurture themselves. So that was an amazing experience. Because sometimes they come in person, they have this environment, I have a special room for all of these. But then they go back home, and maybe they don’t have that. So in this case is like we we emphasize creating that space at home. 

 

Dr. Debra Muth  38:36  

Oh, that’s awesome. I love that idea. And even you know, for people who can’t travel for whatever reason, finances or body or whatever, they can’t leave their children. This online learning is such a great opportunity for you to take advantage of it now, while it still exists. And you can get your needs met and care for yourself why we’re all in lockdown. And we’re all going stir crazy at this point, not knowing what to do with ourselves. This is a great way to spend time healing yourself. So when we come out of this pandemic, we are ready to just shine as the women we want to be instead of us sitting back and saying, Oh gosh, poor us. We can’t go anywhere. We can’t do anything. take this opportunity to really work on yourself so that you are the person you want to be when you come out of this.

 

Victoria Vives Khuong  39:26  

Absolutely, you nailed it there because I feel that you know when we were talking about Knock knock, it’s life. So I feel that’s what happened in 2020. He was like, oh, there is so much mess here like you are faking it. Because most people spend the majority of the day in their work in their office driving and they don’t have so much family time. So if there is trauma or things happening, it’s almost like okay, well I just deal with this. A couple of hours. Today, but now it’s like, we are always in front of it. Because life has forced us in our way to really face every single thing this year. So, because of that, I feel that it’s almost like this grand initiation at a global level, like, okay, you have to deal with it now. So ladies, let’s deal with this now.

 

Dr. Debra Muth  40:26  

And what kind of fun to have practicing our sensuality when we have nothing else to do.

 

Victoria Vives Khuong  40:33  

You’re at home already!

 

Dr. Debra Muth  40:35  

Already at home, so let’s sexuality and really make this what you want it to be and make it make 2020 what you want it to be, and make 2020 year relationship that you want to be with yourself and with your partner. This is a great opportunity for them to hear you. And yeah,

 

Victoria Vives Khuong  40:57  

An amazing 2021 for sure?

 

Dr. Debra Muth  40:59  

Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. So Victoria, I know your time is precious. And I don’t want to keep you longer than we need to. But is there anything else that our ladies need to know about? Or that you want to share with them to make 2021 a better year or better for them? Well,

 

Victoria Vives Khuong  41:19  

I’m super happy to connect. So feel free to check out my Divine Sexuality podcast. I also have a Facebook group that you can join so that we keep the conversation. And ladies don’t wait because we’re not getting any younger. And not that that’s a bad thing. But we don’t want to wait, like the sooner we start the transformation. They said it’s going to be for us. So let’s start making this time in our lives count.

 

Dr. Debra Muth  41:45  

Absolutely. Because you know, every day that we don’t do this is one day that’s lost have something amazing that we could have experienced in life. And if we want life to be amazing, then we’ve got to do something to make that happen every day for us. Absolutely. I love it. I love it. Well, ladies, you guys need to really check out her website and its Victoria Venus comm check out her Facebook. And even if you have to just kind of stop for a little bit on the Facebook and watch her and see her. Do that until you feel comfortable joining that Facebook group. You’re going to love it with her trust me.

 

Victoria Vives Khuong  42:27  

Oh, thank you so much. It’s such a pleasure to be here with you. Thank you so much for the opportunity. 

 

Dr. Debra Muth  42:33  

Oh, you’re very welcome. very welcome. Thank you for joining us. Our show today is brought to you by SerenityU. SerenityU is a university for health and wellness that I personally created because I wanted to be able to share all of the knowledge that I’ve learned and gained over 25 years in a platform that you could have access to 24/7, serenity you is a place where you can tap my knowledge and my information whenever it’s convenient for you. It is a library of over 100 different topics, audios and PDFs that will help you learn all about integrative medicine. We want you to check it out now because we’ve got a great special going. So go to serenityu.com and look for our membership program today. 

 

Debra Muth  43:29  

Hey, it has been really great sharing this time with you guys on the Let’s Talk Wellness Now podcast. If this episode has helped you are you feel as though this episode would help someone else we’d love for you to leave us a review. Share this podcast. And if you don’t want to miss the most exciting episodes we have coming. We’d love for you to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes or Google Play. Until next time, live every day to the fullest

 

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