Episode 136: Overcoming the Victim Mentality with Doug Setter

This episode is about being safe and effective in your daily life. Our guest, Doug Setter, shares with Dr. Deb what actions to take to get yourself out of the victim mentality, how to defend yourself, and be ready for anything that comes your way. 

Do not miss these highlights:

[03:30] Doug’s journey from being the “weak teenager” to competing worldwide in kickboxing

[05:22] Understanding that there is almost a predator/prey mentality present in society

[11:13]  If you know something is wrong, don’t ignore it

[13:15]  Sometimes you have to confront the situation  and just be pleasant to stop it

[16:40]  When you have to put on a fight, you gotta fight to win

[26:46 ] The closer you are to crime, the more likely you are to be a crime victim

[27:25]  How to get  through a traumatic incident and get out of that victim mentality

[31:06]  Trust yourself and go look after yourself

[33:53]  Traditional martial arts gets your body more aligned and a good traditional school will teach you social skills as well

[37:45] There are so many things that we do without even thinking, that are compromising our senses for us to be safe

Resources Mentioned

What if you could improve your health & increase your productivity? Find out how with the Vibrant Female Coaching Program at https://vibrantfemale.com/traning

About our Guest:

Doug Setter is an award-winning author who draws on his background, education and vast life experience to write books that change his readers lives. His time as a crime reporter, UN peacekeeping soldier and paratrooper and kick-boxing title champion inspired him to train people in fitness, martial arts and self-defense as well as write books. Doug is the author of One Less Victim: a personal protection manual, Reduce Your Alcohol Craving, Flat Gut After 50 and Fit Femme After 50. His first novel about crime and childhood bullying, “Selo” won first place Global eBook award for teen literature. When he is not writing, he spends his time training clients and enjoying the west coast.



Transcription of Episode #136:

Debra Muth 0:00
Welcome to Let’s talk wellness. Now I’m your host, Dr. Deb. This is where we talk about everything wellness, and learn to defy aging and live our lives on our own terms. Hello and welcome back to let’s talk wellness. Now everybody, this is Dr. Deb, I’m your host today. And I bring to you a guest that is going to change your thought process from being a victim to having power and control over your situation. So I am bringing Doug setter to you today. And the title of our conversation or our show today is overcoming victim mentality. Doug is an award winning author who draws on his background education and vast life experience to write books that changes readers lives. His time as a crime reporter U.Npeacekeeper, soldier, paratrooper and kickboxing title champion inspired him to train people in fitness, martial arts and self defense as well as writing books. Now Doug is the author of one less victim, a personal protection manual to reduce your alcohol cravings flatten your gut after 50 Oh my gosh, I’m so there and fit them after 50. His first novel about crime and childhood bullying. cielo won first place global ebook award for teen literature. When he’s not writing, he spends his time training clients and enjoying the West Coast. Doug is from Canada. So let’s welcome him today everybody. It is great to have you here today, Doug, welcome. Today’s episode is brought to you by vibrant female. Now we’re all trying to build a fulfilled life. One that’s exciting, fun, and leaves us fulfilled and energized. But we don’t all have the energy the drive or the bodies we want. So I’ve created the vibrant female coaching program. And you know, I have just recorded a training on how to supercharge your life with maximum brain function, optimal energy. And yes, I’m going to say it, mind blowing sex and reawaken the female goddess inside of you. Now, who wants this amazing free webinar, if you do, just hop over to vibrant female.com slash training, and it’ll be in the show notes here as well. And you can get access to this free program where you can learn all about the things that I did to regenerate my life, get the body that I want. And yes, have mind blowing sex as well, while running a business, taking care of clients and raising my family. So check us out. It’s the vibrant female health program. And it is that vibrant female.com and for your free webinar training. It’s vibrant female.com slash training. Welcome back to the show everybody. This is Dr. Deb you’re listening to let’s talk wellness now and I am with Doug setter. I’m so excited to have a conversation with him today. So Doug, tell us a little bit about yourself.

Doug Setter 3:35
Yeah, I was in the army. I did some peacekeeping over the UN. I was one of these, you know, original, weak teenagers. You see the ads for I was like 116 pounds trying to get the army and I get knocked around a bit and then I eventually got healthier and stronger. And I learned kickboxing and I competed in Canada. I competed in Hong Kong and got very fit and I noticed certain things about self defense and it wasn’t just fighting it was just being your awareness like we did in the military. We always had, you know protection and we always we did patrols we thought ahead. And so I found that entrance I wrote a book called one less victim guide to crime prevention. And I taught first self defense and I taught some local women’s kickboxing is a lot of fun, by the way, really good turnout for that and that’s about it. I just I do Personal Training, I write books I stay ahead of the game, but I have found health and people’s attitude. Were very important. And you know, as I noticed as people got stronger and fitter, they took less nonsense, if you will. So it all ties in your self esteem, your self worth your health.

Debra Muth 5:00
You You were a crime reporter for a while

Doug Setter 5:03

Debra Muth 5:04
What did you see? I’m assuming you saw some patterns to things and just before we came on live we were talking about that victim mentality Can you tell us a little bit about where you see that victim mentality coming from and what it does to people when they can’t get out of it?

Doug Setter 5:22
That’s a good point. You know, one thing I used to do in my students is let’s look at a crowd and immediately people are consistently picking out that that that victim and they’re the person who awkward head down they sometimes have physical disability like the lamp they’re just right away you can see there’s a predators praise it’s quite sad really. And there’s a process and you want to break up this process and I found it’s interesting because yesterday I just got approached I almost got scammed. And I thought Wait a minute, I’m being scammed here and there’s a process first there’s a bad intention you have someone who’s you can tell right away I can usually pick some of them I’ll etailers someone up to no good and the other part I learned the hard way as a kid was what they call self defense experts call the interview and you’re being interviewed being checked out you’re being like a you know when a stray dog come up to you and he kind of sniffs trying to decide whether or not they can you know intimidate you or attacking you so that’s the most important part and this can be in case of women unfortunately I see some guys be very aggressive with them and see where they can push right they do these subtle things and I noticed that and with guys sometime your mind your business someone throws an insult at you and and I’ve had to bite my tongue because well can you see there’s three of their friends standing off to the side so they’re trying to set you up they’re trying to steal your racket and if I go yeah okay no time how you doing Hey nice shirt there’s look a disappointment right and then we get into positioning already decide so usually if someone wants to do harm they want to be in a situation where they don’t get hurt you know they don’t they will try to get you somewhere private if you will. And then they want an escape route and this is something I’ve noticed and and I know in the bar scene guys would tell me as someone intimidates him the next thing you know we get two or three guys Malina is one guy, no setup, so we want to watch the positioning we don’t want to go somewhere alone. We don’t want to get stuck in the stairway want to not go into our apartment? If you suspect someone’s doing it you go back to your car you know if you suspect a friend of a friend has bad intentions leave you you drive the police station whatever but you go away from that situation and what we do is we a lot of times you’re very very oh I don’t want to offend people all you know and yesterday I had a bit of that guy trying to take money off me and he was being very more he was trying he said he was selling or he was looking for donations for the Red Cross. Well I’ve been overseas the Red Cross they go into disaster if they don’t ask for money and became very aggressive and I then I kind of clicked in wait a minute this this this person they’re not being legit and so I kind of sent it back to them then call the police but it was interesting so I digress we’re in now we’re in positioning so you’ve got two or three people and you have a stronger male you know maybe it’s I’m gonna be very blunt with you it’s probably the college football captain who was intimidating this young you know university student and now we’re in a position where it’s hard now we’re into the fight and that’s what most self defense courses at well now we’re into you know i god you’re kicking the grind whatever well now it’s kind of late you can still get out of this but I’ve been in a situation of Oh darn it now I have to turn on the burgers hey, yeah. And I remember putting the guy down and his friends get run over and it you know, you want some more than they you know, this is there’s this kind of, again, the predators you know, they don’t want to get hurt, they don’t want to look bad so we don’t we don’t want to get into the fight. If we are you got to you got to turn it on. You know, you have to really turn it on and then there’s a reaction. And this is even worse, because when you get attack sometime they they get more bolder. So it’s the now the simple assault becomes more serious. As robbery I mean I noticed this one guy. I knew when I was at the paratroopers a little aggressive character and he got in the fight and he won and they decided to take $20 off the guy. Whoa, by the way, he

Debra Muth 10:18
Yeah can’t do that. I can’t do that.

Doug Setter 10:21
You have a consensual fight you know consensual fight and okay duke it out. Okay, won’t do that again. But if it’s deliberate mean predatory attacked and it’s different story.

Debra Muth 10:35
So there’s two things in that that I want to circle back on with you a little bit. Is that the intuition? Right? Like you’re going up to your apartment? That can you sense something’s wrong? Yeah. Doors cracked. Or maybe the doors not cracked. But you just have this sense. Like, it’s that sixth sense that we have that we ignore, even like walking down a street and you come to a corner and something saying to you, Hmm, this probably isn’t good. How do we learn to listen to that intuition or trust that intuition? If we’re not because I think so many times we’re like, yeah, I had this bad feeling, but I did it anyway.

Doug Setter 11:13
I heard I heard that all the time is when I was doing crime reporting. And they cost I knew something was wrong is a key phrase. I knew something was wrong. And I agree totally. I one situation, I was walking a date hole, and this guy’s walking behind us. We speed up, he speeds up. We slowed always. You know what I know now, and I’ve heard people who turn around and clock them. What do you do in one in the morning walking behind? So anyway, things escalated it. There was threats, there was a weapon. away, I just leave, you know, I took my date we ran or walked. But you’re absolutely right. And this is what we have already in us. And we ruined it. I know. When I was on patrol when I was in the former Yugoslavia. There were times the hair in the background Next up, and I remember the crickets stopped. Hear the crickets and the fireflies stopped and I got started backing up. And one guy looks at me says Sergeant Oh, like we left. Or it’s embarrassing, cuz I thought that, you know, I gotta do a patrol report. No, no, I’ll never forget that. That was something wasn’t right.

Debra Muth 12:32
Out of there. I had a, I had a similar situation. I was walking in downtown Utah with my husband, we were going for dinner. And this young guy, you could tell he just was not normal like you. Like I want to say he was crazy. Like you knew it. You just had that sense about him. He was definitely a street person. And he are a saint swinging this huge stick like longer than broomstick behind us. And he kind of came upon us quickly. And then he’d walk fast. And he’d swing this stick and he was laughing. And I looked at my husband and I’m like, I don’t have a good feeling about this. Something’s going on. And we kept looking back and he’d look at us and he’d laugh. And then finally my husband said, I’m done with this. And my husband’s a pretty burly guy. And he’s fought a lot in his day. And he just turned around and looked at the guy. And just kind of gave him that look like, you don’t want to go here. And the next thing we knew he was walking next to my husband, and I’m like, watch him. He’s gonna hit you with that stick. And my husband just looked at him and started having a conversation with him like, Hey, how are you? What’s up? What, you know, what are you doing today? Great Day, right? And then he looked at him started laughing and went right past us. But I said to my husband, if you would not have engaged in conversation with him, there’s no doubt in my mind, he would have hit you with that. You just had that weird sensation of it. Um, but it goes to what you were saying. Like sometimes you have to confront the situation, and just be pleasant

Doug Setter 14:01
to stop it. You know what you hit, he made a very good point, because I’ve read a lot of self defense, and they say get very aggressive. Well, you get out with a dog. Immediately. Naugle you know, and it’s interesting cuz a friend of mines up north, he runs in a hunting lodge, and he told a case of where a hiker he was someone from the city they weren’t didn’t really have any saw as a stag, a big deer during rainy season and he made the mistake of staring trying to stare down the deer well if the air goes away

Debra Muth 14:37
You’re my enemy now.

Doug Setter 14:39
Why part of town you know you could you can get your husband did the right thing. You know, you get engaged you actually give people the iPhone if I give people a time a day, and sometimes a little kindness goes a long way not weakness, but little kindness recognition. Very but anyway to steer charge this guy. Oh gosh beam up pretty bad and people think oh, you know dears? No, no. You don’t know. Walk you walk away.

Debra Muth 15:13
They don’t realize a lot of times that animal instinct kicks in. And as humans, we have that same animal instinct when we want something that same instinct can kick in and if they’re out to do harm,you’re the victim.It’s unfortunate.

Doug Setter 15:34
What is and And fortunately, there are, I’ve seen people there, they’ve had a bad day, and they’re just starting to set up off, right? So yeah, sometimes just being poor. I think I read once a self defense expert to mark buck young, he says, Don’t be an a****. And I gotta admit, you know, it’s, most of the time. It’s like, just Excuse me, I got it. You know, how are you? And they’re like, oh well? Oh, boy. have a bad day. Gotcha. You know? Yeah,

Debra Muth 16:06
They just I think a lot of people just want to be recognized. They want to be heard. And they want to be validated.

Doug Setter 16:13
Well, and why not? Really? Yeah, to be honest, we we I know, as a young kickbox and we’re like, a young aggressive guys, and they’re out there to prove themselves. But you got to be intelligent. If you’re especially if you’re in a business. Okay. kept up your patrons and throwing them off. I mean, it’s Yeah, conducting yourself.

Debra Muth 16:36
Mm hmm. Absolutely. Yeah. So you were saying to, you know, when you have to put on the fight, you got to fight to win. So, I’m sure there’s a lot of people that are listening, especially our female listeners that are thinking, well, I can’t fight somebody, I can’t win. You know, I’m 120 pounds. I don’t have a vicious bone in my body. How do I protect myself and I know we, we did this at my office. A few years back, there was a lot of naturopathic practitioners that were being killed. And so we brought in a self defense, self defense person to teach my staff how to protect ourselves, should someone come in and become aggressive

Debra Muth 17:25
There’s to date 139, naturopathic practitioners that have been killed in this country for a variety of reasons. Many of them look like suicides, but they were not some I knew personally, and I know there would never be a suicide there. Um, a lot of them were involved in treating cancer and coming up with cures for cancer. A lot on the vaccine front fighting the vaccine mandates and things like that, and they had evidence to show vaccines were not good, and they ended up gone. So so we brought people in, and we taught my staff and and my staff said, I can’t I can’t do this to someone, I can’t hurt someone. And it was a very interesting concept for them, but they learned all the tools they had on their desk, but they never knew I stated our letter opener, you know, there’s just all kinds of things they had at their disposal they would have never thought of, but can you talk a little bit about that like that that mentality of not I can’t fight I’m just going to cower.

Doug Setter 18:34
Well, this is interesting. You say that because I remember one time I was in a cafe, and the guy was hanging out with with the army he even used to be in a motorcycle club, I’ll call it and these guys give us a hard time. A bunch of guys in this table so this guy gets up he walks over the cashier and he gets a roll of pennies back when we had pennies. As it was great. He walks by and he smiles at table on the Oh shut up. No, wait a minute. So I noticed that like you talk of letter openers that what I noticed as a kid I carry I started carrying something my pocket if you will, and immediately the body changes. I’m not saying that as threatening and massive. But I noticed like when I went overseas, I felt you know, I didn’t have my rifle for the first day or two and there’s bombs going off and stuff and I finally had the rifle, pistol and oh, and you get your body changes. So I’m saying if you are carrying, you know, tear gas, mace, whatever, there’s suddenly this sense of confidence when you’re holding this, you know, a handful of power, if you will. People will pick up on that. Like if you’re in your desk and you all really pull your letter open or whatever under your desk. I guarantee your body your posture is going to change I guarantee you’re I’ll just say predator whatever we’ll start they’ll read it pretty stupid or drug whoever but I find that right away and the other thing is positioning. We tried a course one time for welfare investigators and again it wasn’t so much to get into a fight but they come in the door they you know talk interview that people talk they always keep an escape room yeah it’s a no no don’t let them get between you and the door if you come in you see a table full of weapons. Everyone is stoned. Might not be a good day right? You leave and that’s what I say I say if you you get yourself in a situation or I don’t know I do down the state side arm if you will find one but get that and right away you’re kind of in the position now some of them your office you’re ready and no pick up on that generally speaking, okay. react to get go and I know you I the same thing I don’t want to get hurt. But then I got hit when I was younger, all sudden click game over a game on point. And then this game on. The other day, I saw a pitbull. My daughter with me. I mean, the Pitbull had a little I understand, but not today. And he kind of looked at me like, Okay, I get it. He walked off like so. So much goes on before the actual fight, right?

Debra Muth 21:44
It’s true. It really does. I live in a really rural area. And my community is like 476 people it is small. And that probably includes the chickens and the cows. Right, right. So I never worry about being out here. Like, no big deal. And I walk every day. And about a year or so I was walking and I always walk my dog, but my dog was with my husband and they were gone for the weekend. So I’m like, I’m gonna take a quick walk before I have to head out. And I took my normal route. And I had this car come up on me. And I was just like, well, this is kind of weird. They’re gone kind of slow. Yeah. And I’m looking at the person and he’s an older gentleman. And I’m like, okay, and I watched him drive to town as I was walking that way pulled into a parking lot of a friend of ours or their driveway. And I thought, Oh, well, they’re probably picking up so and so. I didn’t think much of it. And as I walked closer, they came around the circle and parked right by the road. And I’m like, Okay, this is really weird, unless they’re waiting to pick up so and so they wouldn’t be parked there. Right? And I knew I had that instinct. That feeling like this isn’t right. But like a dummy. I just kept walking and didn’t think anything of it. And as I got closer to the car, I just crossed the road, walked across, and I had multiple people’s homes, I could have walked up into their driveway and just pretended I was driving there. But like an idiot I didn’t. I’m just like, I’m just gonna walk my normal route to town. And he pulled out as soon as I walked past and it was an older gentleman. He’s the town drunk and scoffed off some words. And that was about it. It was fairly harmless. Looking back, though, I was like, I didn’t know that I didn’t know who it was. There’s my intuition. I knew something was wrong. I kept walking. What was I thinking? I didn’t have my mace. I didn’t have my pistol. I didn’t have my dog. I didn’t have anything with me, right? And now my husband before I go for my walk, even if I take the dog, he’ll say, Do you have your pistol? Do you have this? Do you have that? And it’s like, you shouldn’t have to think like that. But you do even in a rural community. Things like that happen all the time. And that’s how people disappear. Unfortunately.

Doug Setter 24:00
Yeah, well, the one time you don’t

Debra Muth 24:03
Yes, yeah.

Doug Setter 24:04
And in getting back to the interview, so many times you’re not even aware of it, you’re being evaluated.

Debra Muth 24:11

Doug Setter 24:12
And there is something it’s I love its nature, it’s like an animal, little kind of sense that if I say we’re talking, you know, a puppy and those sense whether or not that puppy has a bonding which some people will sense there’s heck to pay if that person is bothered, you know, and

Debra Muth 24:36

Doug Setter 24:36
Up here in Canada, we have a lot of Indigenous women go missing some people you know, they’re there, maybe the drug actually go missing Well, if you’re a university professor, you go missing people looking for like within an hour. Unfortunately, if you’re lower on the economic scale, or you’re very detached If you will, I am sorry, the only person misses you maybe your drug dealer and yeah, no and it’s really sad, but it’s it’s true so yeah again Case in point if like yourself we didn’t show up the office I’m sure that the right away people right and they’re very aware of that so that’s the big thing if being connected helps being part of your said like your prime people know he was fine I never people see me in the streets but you’re not and in a case of saying teenagers get picked on it’s usually around grade nine. They’re usually single parent families I was raised by single mom so or widowed mom, pardon me. They’re off of a different culture there. They move around a lot. So these things, isolate them make them more? Or is if your baby living there for 15 years. Your dad knows the mayor, here. You know you’re on the football team, your hockey team, blah, blah, blah, you’re connected. Yeah, you’re connected to someone. And I remember a guy tell me his place. He says, Yeah, bunch of guys hanging out. And they see Sony near him. No, I don’t know. And then they’ll attack. Uh huh. But they’re no one.

Debra Muth 26:19
They leave him alone.

Doug Setter 26:21
Because they’ll be retribution.

Debra Muth 26:23

Doug Setter 26:23
They know this instinctively or by experience.

Debra Muth 26:26
That’s crazy, isn’t it? I know, it’s crazy. But it’s targeting though. And and they know that that, like you said, they’re not going to get retribution for somebody that’s not known. Nobody will notice them for a long time. And by then, evidence has gone.

Doug Setter 26:40
Well, Case in point, I mean, some of the homeless

Debra Muth 26:43

Doug Setter 26:44
And they’re mentally disturbed or they’re usually I found just talking to people that the closer you are to crime, the more likely you are to be a crime victim. And that’s just an observation. People will say that’s not right. But I noticed that so you’re right in those circles. And Case in point I had a roommate, he, he was a drug deal gone bad. He ended up holding he was he stopped paying rent because he was in depth. Right. And well, you know what? He kind of brought that on yourself.

Debra Muth 27:22
Yeah. Before you know it. Here it is. So what can What can you recommend for people who are they’ve gone through a traumatic incident? they maybe have this victim mentality? What kinds of things can you suggest for them to get themselves out of that victim mentality?

Doug Setter 27:44
Good point I found when I was I was threatened with a hammer one time. I was walking down a guy who was following us. I remember I was studying behaviorism. And I wanted to desensitize myself. So I walked on that same street, I start flinching. I deliberately went through the daytime. And then I waited till night. I know it sounds creepy. I always was dark. I deliberately kept walking back and forth. I caught up to this guy years later, or months later, like cornered me is such a query massive humanity. I didn’t have the heart to be a lot, but I caught up. And I looked down like, Well, you know, I can’t stop a drug. I go cheese, I can’t hear I can’t talk. I looked at like, well, you’re not much of a threat anyway. And that resolved it when we were in the airborne. paratroopers if you had a bad experience. Like the parachute didn’t open properly, and you landed hard. Often they would put you back on the next plane. You had to do it again. Right away. Yeah, like what? And the reason is you have to get out of this. So

Debra Muth 28:56
you fall off the horse, you got to get right back on it.

Doug Setter 28:58
You have a situation where you have been attacked, traumatized. I mean, you need counseling. But yes, you’ve got to get out. You got to empower yourself. Whether you’re lifting weights or self defense, and when self defense I don’t mean going, you know, false false confidence. But you have to get out there again, I’m sorry. You have to re engage the public and, you know, I feel bad. When you when I talked to people who know and they taught Tommy’s experiences and, you know, there is one where I interviewed a guy who is he’s a waiter, and he’s got off ship. He’s walking home at four in the morning. And a car pulls up. And the guy says, I can’t find you know, I can’t find where I am. rolls down the window and he has a map on his lap. Well, this waiter reached in the car to point that move. Yeah. on balance and the guy got it almost turned out to be a sexual assault. And the poor guy I got home he was really upset that I contact them but but later on he came up to me as yell talk to you because you know, I don’t want to see this out for someone else. And so yeah, we talked about we can, now he gets a taxi home from the employer pays for the cab stuff, but we got to get back in the saddle. You got to get back in the saddle, you’ve got to be able to reading be with the public, you got to be able go back in our life.

Debra Muth 30:37
Yeah, you definitely don’t want to walk around feeling scared all the time. Because that that comes off and then you become a victim again to someone else because of what you’re expressing. Subconsciously, right? We don’t even realize we’re doing it most of the time.

Doug Setter 30:53
Exactly. Yes, yeah.

Debra Muth 30:55
So what kinds of things would you recommend for people to boost their own confidence to feel empowered, so that things don’t happen to them?

Doug Setter 31:06
Well, first of all, trust yourself. really trust yourself, and I am not trying to do advertising, but go see your naturopath get healthy. You feel better you get a look at yourself. Like we have a psychologist here. Jordan Peterson. He wrote a lot of books. One thing he said is take your own damn medicine. Yeah, we’re so upset. You know, people think all I’ll do this for somebody that No, no. And someone told me that number looking for work. And I said, Well, I’ll give it to Matt. He’s got a family and friend of mine said no, listen, go look after yourself. You got to put on the gas masks before you can help others. So you’ve got to get a little bit of what Ayn Rand calls a bit of bright self selfishness. But look at yourself, you know, dressing better just and I thought I remember thinking about this. And yeah, you dress a bit better. Be clean, Be Fit be how would you treat yourself? If you were someone else you’re trying to? If you’re trying to build someone’s confidence, what would you do? I know in the military, discipline, fitness, feed and make them clean, like clean them up. And before you know it, you got the scared looking? recruit looking at you a bit of a hard look. I did you talk about how she’s a colonel. So that’s awesome.

Debra Muth 32:36
That is awesome.

Doug Setter 32:37
That’s a great way of saying you are worth it. You have to believe that you’re worth it. So what if you’re a fan of someone? And trust me? Oh, well, yeah, bothers, etc. Well, too bad. Because sometime I did it, you gotta be in that situation?

Debra Muth 32:59
How do self defense classes work? I want people to have an understanding, like, it’s not all what you think it is, right? A lot of times, it’s not teaching you how to punch somebody in the right spot. Right? It has some aspects of that. But there are other things to self defense that we’ve been talking about knowing your surroundings, being strong, you know, walking tall, can you share some other things that people would gain from a self defense class?

Doug Setter 33:26
Well, you know, what I found there’s a certain amount of confidence, like if you’re doing Marsh karate, and I was talking to a Taekwondo instructor, and he was saying, you know, get guys in here. And they train for a while and could probably still get beat up and now they’re walking taller, from the training and they look more confident. So right there, then in there, it’s so important cuz I’ve noticed traditional martial arts, your body gets more aligned, you have a false sense of confidence. If you project more competent standing up, you, you, you learn a little bit of humility, you know, a good traditional school will teach you social skills as well. But then the fighting aspect Yeah, I like I remember getting my I call my girls, but we go in the parking lot. Okay, you’re leaving. You’re leaving a building. Now your night blind? Yeah. So in the army, what we’re used to is close one I know. You get that night vision. Yeah, just walk to your car. You open the door, there’s nowhere to go. And we timed it. I can walk up to someone and 10 seconds beyond them. Wow. Dry and now you’re sitting in a car. And I said tell you what we put on the boxing gloves. I put my knife in their hand. I can’t get the leverage. We practiced covering the ad. You know, moving putting our feet around. In all these little things, but the big thing was distance and tiny. Yeah, so if you think you can’t get your car in time, go back inside the last for some help. If If someone is upon you you see in the movies or fighting with their key. You know what, I got a better chance to stand in here or crawling underneath my car. My suit here, but I’ve got a better chance of standing up at least. Bill. Yeah. Sitting down.

Debra Muth 35:30
Yeah, you’re right. Because if you think, Okay, I got to my car, I’m safe. I can lock the doors. Well, they could grab the door. Be in quickly and you’re behind the steering wheel. You have no place to move anything. You have nothing. So yeah, yeah. I mean, that’s really hard. You can’t slide over. You can’t especially the way the cars are made today. It’s very difficult to maneuver around. And then there’s not a lot of space. So yeah, yeah. Yeah. That’s a great point. That’s a really great point.

Doug Setter 36:00
Yeah. And if you’re being followed, what people do they get scared where they go. They go home, I think a home car goes up behind you this actual tactic, right when your car’s parked right behind you, you get out, you fumble your keys, you go You’re now you’re shoved inside your house. And ensues. Right. Yeah.

Debra Muth 36:22
Yeah. And you know, the other thing I think, too, this is a good point I want you to talk about is so many times I see people walking down the street with their head down in their phone. Oh, give me a break. totally oblivious to everything that’s going on around them. Something happens, they drop their phone, okay, you just had your phone, you could have you know, called for help dial 911, whatever. But you’re so enmeshed in what’s going on in that damn phone that you don’t know what’s happening around you. You don’t see anything.

Doug Setter 36:52
Yeah, I know what what I drove me nuts is when I see people. I see people with ear pads on at night wearing sunglasses. Like, take an air plug up. Okay. Don’t be so weak. Well, I need my music. Well take one of them off, please. It’s not that important. You don’t have to add your tunes. out loud.

Debra Muth 37:18
Close to brave. Yes. Your your death? Mm hmm. Yeah. Because if even if you had one out, you would hear the branch, click behind you or rock or something. But with both of them, and you really don’t hear much at all. Maybe a car. But that’s all you’re going to hear and you’re not going to know where it’s coming from. That is a really great point. Because so many times we do that.

Doug Setter 37:42
Yeah. Yeah,

Debra Muth 37:45
yeah, there’s so many things that we do without even thinking it’s compromising our senses around us to be safe. Yes, we just assume it’s safe. No, no. And we can’t assume it safe. Nothing is no, yeah. This was such a great conversation. Um, Doug, if people are listening to you, they’re listening to us have this conversation and they resonate with who you are in what you’re doing, what’s a way for them to get in touch with you.

Doug Setter 38:16
Or you can reach me at Doug center.com. That’s d o g s e tt er.com. And yeah, I’ve got contact information there. And I’d be glad to help talk to anyone. Spread the word.

Debra Muth 38:31
Awesome. I appreciate this. We will have Doug’s link in the show notes below. So if you’re listening to this while you’re driving or working out, don’t worry about writing it down. We’ll have them write in the show notes. We’re also going to have a list of Doug’s books that he’s written so you can look at those and get some more information from him. Thank you so much for being with us. Is there anything at the end you want to share or sign off the show whisk?

Doug Setter 38:55
Like I said, Look after yourself, be good yourself. Again, Doug center.com, got a book called one less victim on Amazon. And that’s about it. But again, I hope everyone got something out of this and

Debra Muth 39:13
thank you so much. I’m sure this was a great thing to be having a conversation at in this time of what’s going on in the world for sure. What a great conversation with Doug setter today. Ladies, if you’re listening to this, we need to be powerful, we need to be strong and we need to be fit. And if you’re looking for somebody who can help you do that, please reach out to us. We have a great program called the vibrant female, not only teaching you how to be healthy, strong well, but also sensual and vibrant at the same time. It’s vibrant female.com reach out to us and meet with my team and we’ll be happy to get you an assessment on how we can get you back in the health game again. Thanks, guys. Hey, it has been really great sharing this time with you guys on the let’s talk wellness now podcast. If this episode has helped you or you feel as though this episode would help someone else we’d love for you to leave us a review, share this podcast and if you don’t want to miss the most exciting episodes we have coming. We’d love for you to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes or Google Play. Until next time, live every day to the fullest

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