Episode 147: Surviving Trauma and Loss with Jodi Harty

We’ve all had those points in our lives, where those things that happen to us change the decisions that we make, and put us on a different path. Jodi shares how to survive the traumatic loss of her beautiful little Marley. In just one moment her life was changed. Jodi shares strategies for healing your body using alternative techniques to defy all odds. 

Do not miss these highlights:

05:03 –  The traumatic story of Jodi when she lost her daughter, Marley,  due to a car accident 

11:02  – The doctor said she would be in the hospital recovering for 10 months but she’s out in just  four months

13:22 –  There’s a big difference between getting stuck in your diagnosis and trauma versus grief and moving through it

15:20  – What Jodi did to start preparing her body to heal differently than what’s recommended by the doctors and nurses

17:17 – There’s a big difference between pain that is doing you harm and pain that is going to help move you through

19:57  – Knowing what foods would cause the body more pain helped Jodi to survive and heal

22:01 – The alternative knowledge and education that has helped her recover

32:50 – The importance of learning to compartmentalize things, and be able to deal with them a little by little because not everything needs to be dealt with at once

About our Guest:

Since 1996 I have been in the alternative field. It has been a wonderful experience witnessing the changes throughout the decades of that whelm. I am so grateful I was educated on how the body heals before my accident. I needed EVERYTHING in my toolbox so that I could enhance my recovery mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/www.elementsofwellness.org/

Facebook Profile: https://www.facebook.com/jodi.sagert.7

Website: https://www.elementsofwellness.org/

Transcription of Episode #147:

Debra Muth 0:02
Welcome to Let’s Talk Wellness Now, I’m your host, Dr. Deb. This is where we talk about everything wellness, and learn to defy aging, and live our lives on our own terms. Have you ever wondered why sometimes life delivers us a path that we didn’t ask for? One that we wouldn’t have wished for or wished on our worst enemy. A part in our life where everything feels like it’s upside down, and you don’t see a way out. I’m sure all of us have been in that position. At one point or another. We’ve all had our dreams shattered. Whether it’s a big major dream. I remember when my son was in high school, it was his senior year and he was playing football. And he was so excited because he was being evaluated by D one school to play college football. And their very first game of the season, which was a scrimmage game. He was asked to play a different position, he was asked to pay play running back and he was a frontline men. And during that game, somebody hit him just right. And he injured his knee. Now he didn’t just injure his knee, he tore his ACL, MCL LCL, PCL, his knee was gone. And he was 17 years old. And his dream of playing college football, and becoming a coach someday was shattered. And luckily, we had a great surgeon here in Madison that worked for the Madison football team. And he repaired his knee. But he gave him option that day and said, You’re going to have two choices to make. Walk when you’re 40 or play college ball, you get to choose as one of the hardest decisions my son had ever had to make. And it took a long time. But he finally made the decision to walk away from football. It was his love of his life, it was the only thing he knew. And that can certainly be a challenge for all of us. We’ve all had those points in our lives, where those things that happen to us change the decisions that we make, and put us on a different path. And my next guest, Jodie Hardy, is going to talk to us about living that life. When things change. How do we get through the difficult times? How do we rebuild after something shatters us? How do we support ourselves and others who are going through a loss, even when we may not understand the loss or may not understand how they feel or may not see it as a loss to us at all. But to them, it’s a tragedy. So I want to give you this gift today in talking to God and learning how we can walk through this path with not just grace, but with pride and with strength. And without having it completely destroy everything we know. Welcome back to Let’s Talk wellness out. I have my wonderful guest, Jody Harty with us today. And we are going to talk about an amazing topic for you guys. It is different than what we’ve done in the past. So if you’re listening and you want to view what she’s showing, just go over to YouTube because she’s going to show some slides with us today. But she’s going to also talk you through all of those. So get ready, hunker down and listen in. Jody, welcome to the show.

Jody Harty 4:29
Hi, thank you for having me. I’m super excited to be part of your show today. It’s been a long time. We’ve been trying to do this forever, it seems.

Debra Muth 4:38
Yes, it has been and you know, crazy times busy lives, but I’m so glad we were able to connect today.

Jody Harty 4:45
Yes, absolutely.

Debra Muth 4:47
So Jody, tell us your story. You have a trauma story, that you’re trying to get out to the world so people understand and know how to navigate things and how to protect themselves, but also how to heal as well.

Jody Harty 5:03
Yeah, um, so it was three and a half years ago. It’ll be well, almost four, and it’ll be four in February. So 2018 I was supposed to be going to see my husband in Fort McMurray, because that’s four hours away. He worked out of town. And we just had a massive snowstorm. And I was really worried about the roads. And I talked to my husband Mike about this. And he said, The roads were fine. They were dry and clear. And he was a manager of a trucking company back then. So he was an expert at assessing road conditions. And he was an expert at knowing my driving capabilities. And he wasn’t worried. So February 3, came, got into our vehicle. My daughter and I were super excited to go and we called Mike and Marley piped up and said, Daddy, are you excited to see your favorite four year old little girl? Because she had three sisters. So she knew she had to make the distinction here. And he said, I sure am sweetheart. And they ended the phone call saying how much they loved one another. And they said goodbye. She was so excited afterwards. She was wiggling and giggling in her seat like little kids do little four year olds do because she had a surprise for him. She was wearing overalls. And her dad loved overalls, but they were for boys. She never wore overalls. But she found this pair and she loved them. So she was wiggling and giggling and super excited. The next thing I knew I was leaning over hunched over my steering wheel, knowing not to move. I heard a man’s voice and I said call my husband call my husband. But inside I thought I can’t hear Marley. I don’t know how she is. But I can’t hear Marley. I heard my voice. And I asked him Mike, is it Saturday? Yes, it is sweetheart. Where are we coming to see you? Yes, your honey. Mike can hear Marley. I don’t know how she is. I can’t hear Marley. The next thing I knew I was waking up. And a mother’s heart knows when something is wrong. And I was intubated. Couldn’t talk, but they gave me a pen and paper. And I would write husband, Marley girls, and then we get all the answers except for Marley. Finally, after three days of trying to keep me in a chemically induced coma, they realized that I was having none of that. And I needed to be told. So on the third day, Mike lovingly sat beside me. He couldn’t even lay his hand on the bed because I could feel the vibration of people’s breathing through my shattered bones. And he told me that Marley had died instantly on impact. So this is Marley. She was our little dancer and she loved Poppy. And that was the last Halloween that she was alive. They told me that I would be in the hospital recovering for 10 months. I told them they were wrong. I mean, I had had clients with knee and hip replacements and they were fine after six weeks. I actually only had broken bones like I was in the alternative field for 24 years prior. I was a massage practicing massage therapist at the time. I knew my anatomy, I knew how the body works, you know, broken bones, six weeks, you’re done, you’re healed. I have titanium rods and all of my long bones from the hips down. I had multiple compound fractures of the right tibia and a shattered fibula. My left femur had multiple complete breaks. And again, shattered fibula shattered tibia.

Jody Harty 9:42
I needed external structures to hold me together before I was stable for my first surgeries. So not only was I recovering from the injuries of the accident, but I was also recovering from the injuries of the surgeries that were keeping me stable. So in these images, you will See that the first one is the metal rods that they screwed into me to keep me in place. And then on the I think it is my right, I hope it’s not reversed for you guys, you will see the femoral head, and you’ll see that it’s nearly snapped right off. So all of the impact of that accident because my foot was on the brake just went right up like like, accordion just No. I now am titanium. I have titanium rods in all of my bones, except for my left tibia, I have that plate removed or right before COVID in February 2020, you’ll see that I have a bilateral hip plate now that holds that femur in place. So I’ve got limited mobility now. But the thing here, remember how I said that the doctor said I would be in the hospital recovering for 10 months. Mm hmm. I was out in four. And I did that. Because I knew how the body moved. I knew how the body would heal in motion, and have no choice but to listen to what my mind said. So because I knew how the body worked as a whole because I knew nutrition I worked with alternative doctors, I worked with chiropractors, I worked with live cell analysis. So I knew how digestion could affect how the body moves are healed. I knew how digestion and movement could accelerate things. So for months after the accident, I was deemed able to move home. Now I wasn’t fully capable of taking care of myself, it took another three months before I was living on my own. And another six months after that before I could actually do my own cooking, and not rely on a meal prep company. So I lost custody of my girls for a time because it couldn’t take care of them. I lost my home because we no longer needed a four bedroom home anymore. And we were renting. So my husband, let that go. I never returned back to the place where Marlene grew up. I never saw her bedroom, I never smelled her bedding. In fact, the movers took it upon themselves to take a lot of her things. And I never got them back. I lost even my marriage for a time. Because when in trauma. And when you have this layer trauma, it’s really hard to be nice and consider it and not respond from a survival state. So three, almost four years later, my husband have and I are solid. I have my two other children from a previous marriage back with me, and still in litigation. But now I am a health coach, I teach people how to survive through trauma, how to move through diagnosis and not allow it to define them. And there’s a big difference between getting stuck in your diagnosis and trauma versus moving through it and especially with grief. Grief is anything from job loss to family loss to death, to be trail, there’s so much there. So that’s why I’m here today is to share my story and show people that there is hope that you don’t have to have life control you. You don’t have to just accept what they say you have so much power inside of you that if you just had a little bit of the knowledge that I have, and that even you have, you can move mountains in your life.

Debra Muth 14:06
Absolutely. Well, Jody thank you so much for sharing that story. I’m sure it’s a very hard story for you to share. But I’m so glad that you’re telling your story. Because there’s people that are listening right now that that get where you’re coming from. They’ve had hard loss, they’ve had trauma, maybe not the same trauma that you’ve experienced and the loss that you’ve experienced, but we we’ve all experienced some kind of loss and trauma. And I love to hear the story that you defied their odds, right? They said 10 months in a hospital you weren’t 10 months in a hospital and and I’d love for you to share a little bit more about like when you are laying there trying to heal and we all know that in our traditional world of medicine. We don’t really feel the the body and the mind have power together. But you Did you there’s things that you did laying in that bed to help you heal, that I’m sure the nurses and the doctors didn’t share with you to do their things you knew from the alternative world. So can you take us into a moment of that? Like, what did you start doing to prepare your body to heal differently than what they were recommending for you?

Jody Harty 15:20
Yeah, so the first week I was in ICU, and I couldn’t even sit up without extreme pain. To give you a perspective, so I was on 76 milligrams of opioids, which, for those that don’t know three milligrams of opioids equals five milligrams of morphine. So I was on that last I was on ketamine, which is known as a horse tranquilizer. I couldn’t tell you how much I was on. But it was enough to cause a massive hallucinations. Let’s just say that. But I had a really big driving force. So the important thing is motivating factor. You have to have a driving force and mine was that I wanted to see Marley. We were scheduling a viewing and I wanted to be there, I couldn’t go home and grade with my children. I couldn’t go and hold them. I couldn’t agree with my husband, I couldn’t be the foundation that I was of that family and help. I was stuck in my hospital bed. But I needed to be at that viewing. So I actually started moving one and a half weeks after my accident and moving it. I mean, like it took six people and me screaming to move from a hospital bed to a wheelchair. No, most people would just stay in bed. Like, you know, that hurts anymore, right like or until like something like I had broken ribs I had not broken arms, but pretty close. And I was literally like helping pull myself up through that pain. So I did not let pain stop me from moving. And that’s one thing that I used to teach my clients all the time as a massage therapist is there’s a big difference between pain that is doing you harm and pain that is going to help move you through. So more of an annoyance. Now I can tell you that this was not an annoyance, it was freakin painful, painful, but I knew I needed to start moving. So I started practicing sitting up longer for length of time, you know, starting at five minutes, then 10 minutes, because I had from the time of the accident to Marley’s viewing two and a half weeks. So by the time her viewing came, I was able to sit beside her, hold her hand, see her beautiful face. Now endorphins run. So like I had my 10 year old on my lap, which like doctors, and I still don’t know that. But it was the first time that I could hold them. You know, I had my 13 year old on my lap holding them. And I sat through a two hour viewing, you know, and I visited people that came afterwards, right. So I had a really powerful motivating factor. If I did not have that I don’t think I would have started moving, but the body heals within motion. Okay, so we get this all the time with retired people, they stop working, they start deteriorating if they don’t have something to do afterwards. We see this in older clients all the time. This is life. If you don’t use it, you lose it. And I couldn’t use my three legs, or my three legs, my two legs for three months. And so I was losing the muscle in my legs, I was losing everything in my life. So I knew I had to build up my upper body. Because if I had a strong upper body, that meant that when I got walking orders, it’s not like you can just stand up right after you are still actually very much shattered. If you remember the images of the X rays that I showed you, the rods it still showed a lot of the breaks in there. I had walking orders when those x rays were taken. So I learned how to walk on shattered bones still, like you don’t just magically get up after three months, and you actually have to stand with assisted machines. And I knew that if I could hold myself up just a little bit longer. If I had a strong upper body, then that meant that I could hold my body weight while my legs went through the motions, which would get the muscle back faster that would get the muscle memory and the body and mind connection back faster. So that’s one of the things is movement. The other thing that I did is I watched my nutrition

Debra Muth 20:03
I, opioids affect hunger cues. So I definitely was not eating enough. But I knew about inflammatory foods. And I knew what foods my body thrived on versus survived on, and I knew what foods would cause the body more pain, versus what foods would help to heal. And when I say this, it’s even the healthy foods that could cause your body more pain. So being really connected with your bio identity, and knowing what foods you thrive on versus just survive on is crucial. And I already had this key information. So I avoided all of the foods that would potentially cause me more pain. Because one, I did not want to increase those pain levels. And two, if my body was in pain, that would mean that my body was on fire inside because of things that I ate. And how do you think the body is going to help you deal with outside stress, if the body is focused on putting the fires out, out inside the body, so this actually affects your stress and overwhelm levels as well, if your body’s on fire inside, it’s not gonna help you deal with life coming at you. And this is so important, even for like the last year and a half that we’ve been in how many people have had, like, so much stress, so much overwhelm and don’t know where to turn what to look like. Right? Like, just knowing the right foods for you individually, is crucial to maintaining your mental health, to keeping your body and mind awareness and listening to your body. Because your body is constantly talking to you constantly, it’s giving you cues, and you just need to know how to listen. So those are the two things that I did while I was in the hospital.

Debra Muth 21:52
So did you know what your inflammatory foods were before you were injured or did it your body really let you know, once you were injured, what was going on

Jody Harty 22:01
with the education that I had prior with the alternative community I knew beforehand. So this was pivotal. Now, if you would have taken my knowledge out of it, if you would have taken I was 155 pounds at the time of the accident. So I was like a little bit fluffy for my height. But if you would have taken my knowledge and education out of it, and if you would have put 100 additional pounds on me, I would not have been getting out of that hospital bed, one and a half weeks later, I would not be watching my nutrition intake, I would not be knowing to build a strong upper body so that I could walk faster. You know, later when I got walking orders, I would not know that there were so many other things that I could do to help my body and accelerate. So this is the gap where like the medical field has versus the alternative field has. So in Canada, we have free health care. But that doesn’t include alternative health. That just means that I didn’t get a millions of dollars hospital bills when I left the hospital. Right. But, and this is also key A lot of times when people leave the hospital because I was in rehab for three months in a hospital living there. They stopped doing their physical therapy. Yeah, they stopped moving because they say I can’t afford it. Mm hmm. And the majority of patients will digress 50% when they’re released from hospital, I never stopped moving. I continued to do physio five times a week, for an hour a day. I actually once I got to September because I was released in June. Once I got to September, I started implementing rehabilitation yoga, so I could get body mind communication because like when they told me to lift my leg when I was laying on my back, try can lift my leg, but it wasn’t in a straight line, it was often left field. And I thought it was straight, right? That’s what happens when you don’t use your legs for however long right? So they really helped get that mind body connection back in like how to do the movement correctly because that’s pivotal when you have injuries. If you’re not doing the movement correctly, you’re gonna leave yourself open to more severe injury later. And then when my legs were strong enough, in November of 2018, not only was I still doing physio and yoga, but it added rehabilitation TRX which is a total body resistant exercise regime with a rehabilitation trainer so that when I squatted to like, because squats are really pivotal like using the toilet, you have to squat right? Standing up from getting off the couch right is a functional movement, right? And if you’re not doing that correctly You could cause more hip damage, you could cause knee damage, you can cause ankle damage. So it was really important for me to accelerate my movement, Increase my strength, but do it safely and correctly. So that’s knowledge that I had that the medical field did not have. Or if they did were not allowed to tell me. And another thing that I did that is a new technology is called Flash wave, and it is a sister treatment of shock waves. But flash waves stimulate stem cells to go to the injured area. So that hips that has the bilateral hip plates, I should have never healed 100%. From those breaks, I have almost 100% blood flow restored to those femurs which doctors never predicted. And all of my breaks have fully healed, which they have never predicted. So I healed a little bit too well. And now the femur is a little bit too big for that hip socket, so I can’t get fully cross legged anymore. But you know what that means that that bone is strong, that means that it’s gonna take a lot to break that bone again. So when I’m 70 Yeah, by fall, the chances of a hip break. Yeah, is less good for you take it, I’ll take it. So for you, those are things that the medical profession can’t or won’t share with patients. Yeah.

Debra Muth 26:36
Yeah. And I think unfortunately, it’s probably a little bit of both. They can’t, and they won’t. They don’t know how a lot of them don’t know how that’s possible. They don’t understand the power of nutrition, the power of the mind. And when it does happen, because they don’t understand it. And they can’t replicate it. And it’s not in their wheelhouse of training they won’t share. So they don’t give people that ability to know that there is a possibility of 100% healing from such traumatic injuries like that. Do you take us down a path of how did you heal the emotional trauma? I mean, losing your daughter? That’s unthinkable for most people, like, we don’t, we’re not supposed to outlive our children, how how did you heal, you had so much physical trauma, and focusing on yourself, you lost your beautiful little girl, now you’re losing your other children, not from a bad perspective, but because you couldn’t care for them, you’re losing your home, you’re losing your marriage, you’re losing you as an individual. How did you emotionally get through all of that trauma?

Jody Harty 27:48
You know, this is where I say, and this, this really sucks in life. But time and time again, it’s fact, life prepares you for what’s coming. So I had my Reiki Masters already. Being a massage therapist, I had also received my somatic emotional release training. So I knew how emotions could get stuck in the body if not released. So I began just physically treating myself with those modalities. And with those modalities also comes to a different mindset that the body can. A great book is the body keeps score. I know that you’ve heard of it. But for those of you that love anatomy, for those of you that want to delve in deeper, there is a textbook called self talk. And that gives you all this science and like all the anatomy and all the things right so it’s I had that knowledge beforehand. I think one of the blessings I had was because I was so drugged up, that it really did lock the emotions. Yes, I’ve felt things but not. I remember saying in the ICU, I know I should be devastated. I know I should be heartbroken and sobbing, but I can’t. So it would come out in little bits. So I think that was actually a blessing versus what my husband went through, where he felt it all at once. Now, having the training that I do now, since the accident, I know that there are two things that cause brain damage from trauma and one of them is a death of a child and the other one is spousal betrayal. Both of those significantly cause brain damage in the brain where it can be picked up by an MRI It’s, without the knowledge that I had of these modalities, I wouldn’t have been able to recognize when my body physically needed to be able to release, like move a certain way, in order to release an emotion. And with Reiki, I already had that ability to. And I say this lightly forgive. Okay, so I was immediately concerned about the other driver who hit me, he did come into my lane at highway speeds, and he had me I didn’t want him to go through what I was going through, I wanted to know that he was okay. That does not release him from being accountable. And for me receiving justice. So being able to be at peace with what happened because I can forgive, you know, really helped move through. And I think this is a big difference between getting stuck in your trauma, right and having it define you. Where this happened to me, this is what I live with every day, you know, I lost my daughter, I lost my children, I lost my home. That’s actually not you. That’s what you went through. But that’s actually not you. So knowing who you are when everything is stripped away, right? I was not a mother, I was not a wife. I was not a successful entrepreneur. I was not independent, you know, like, I had everything stripped away. And to say, I didn’t have an identity issue. Yeah. Cuz I was like, who am I? If I’m not a mother? Who am I? If I’m not a wife, who am I? If I’m not this, like independent entrepreneur, I’m 24 years like, but to your core, who are you? So I know, I’m forgiving. I know, I’m caring. I know, I’m powerful. I know that I have control. You know, that’s who I am to my core, right? And even when it comes to beliefs, right, like, I have a very, I had a very strong faith system. That was cracked, little shatter. Like when you see everything, right. So I couldn’t even say, you know, like, I am a Christian. No, that’s what you do. That’s what you believe in. But that’s not who you are. Right? So really being able to?

Jody Harty 32:48
What is the word I’m looking for compartmentalize things, and be able to deal with them a little bit by a little bit, because not everything needs to be dealt with at once. Yeah, you know, I took a whole year for physical recovery. And we say that the first year is just survival mode, you do whatever it takes just to survive, right? And then I decided, okay, well, what do I do now? Well, I’m gonna use my education and a different career. So I became a certified health and life coach, right, that specializes in trauma that specializes in diagnosis that specializes in overwhelm and stress because I got something to say about that. Right, a little bit. Yeah. Right. So I really do believe that life prepares you for what’s coming. And I mean, I had floods I had fires in like, a previous lifetime ago, it seems. But it also gave me experience to deal with insurance companies. It also gave me experience to deal with lawyers, right to know how to advocate for myself. So what you’re going through now, you may not understand it. You may not, you may feel like you are climbing at the Earth, just trying to survive. But know that that climbing the earth is going to eventually turn into a little handhold where you can start pulling yourself up a little bit, maybe get on your hands and knees instead of dragging yourself on the grass, you know, and then from hands and knees, okay, now you’re kneeling. Right? And the best part of it is that like, you don’t have to do it alone. You can find people that don’t have the experiences you do that can help you move from one step to another quickly. You don’t have to figure it out by yourself. You don’t have to make the same mistakes that so many before you did. I’m not the only grieving mother out there. I am not the only one that had her life ripped apart from an accident, you know, physically, mentally, emotionally. But I found people to have helped me when I was outside my wheelhouse. And I used every tool that I had in my toolbox that I knew. And I accelerated everything that people taught me on the way.

Debra Muth 35:13
I think that’s a, that’s a great point is that use what you know, but build a team around you, of people that can take you to that next level. Because we don’t have to just depend on ourselves. We have people that know things differently than we do that can help us and eliciting those people and finding those people can make a huge difference for you in that journey.

Jody Harty 35:39
Well, and I think you know what, like, it is scary. Like, if you are someone who knows nothing, say about counseling, or alternative therapies or anything like that, it’s scary. When you have to challenge your knowledge when you have to challenge your belief system, like so many people right now are having their belief system challenged with government challenged with the medical system challenged with employers, right? It’s a belief system, and it’s so scary. But what I’m saying today, can be applied to anything, you just have to have the courage to take that one step in that direction that you don’t know about and be open to receive that information.

Debra Muth 36:27
Yeah. So true. So good. So Jody, you have a really powerful message that you want to end this on, with our listeners, because it makes the difference for you in your country and in other countries, when accidents occur.

Jody Harty 36:45
So earlier, I shared that the man that hit me across the center lane at highway speeds and hit us head on. Because we have distracted driving laws here in Canada, you would think that every stone would be Unturned specially when there is a death, like take me out of the equation, take me out of the question like I will get better, I will never be 100% The way that I was I will never go back to my physical career as a massage therapist because this body cannot handle it. You know, I am considered permanently disabled. So take me out of the equation. Okay, because I’m okay. Right. Um, Marley still dies, Marley is still gone. You would think that with distracted driving laws in place, they would look. And here in Canada. In fact, if somebody doesn’t say I think they were distracted, or I saw them be distracted. Our police force has no power to check any of their devices. Because that would be a breach of privacy. Wow. And so what I tell people, no matter what country you are, is know your traffic laws. And if you see an accident happen, even the power of saying I think they were distracted, will give probable cause to check those devices. The man that hit me was only charged for not wearing a seatbelt. That was it.

Debra Muth 38:37
Not their idea to quickly not reckless endangerment for crossing the center line.

Jody Harty 38:44
Undue care and attention like if you think about it, okay, if you’re in park, and you accidentally put your vehicle into drive instead of reverse and you hit a building, you are charged with undue care and attention. You cross a center lane at highway speeds, you kill someone. And here’s a no seatbelt ticket.

Debra Muth 39:13
So they weren’t able to look at the black box in his car. They weren’t able to look at his phone for text messages. None of that because it was a privacy issue. Because they might have probable cause.

Jody Harty 39:27
Well, and this is and I say this tentatively. Okay. We know that sometimes things are not above board. Yeah. And if you guys were online and you saw the images of the accident, the beginning of this you will know that there is really nothing left of my front end of my vehicle, but that there were some front end of his vehicle. My black box was read about It showed that I applied the brake 2.4 seconds before the accident actually occurred. His black box for whatever reason, they said they could not read. And so because nobody said that he was distracted or thought that he was distracted. Checking devices is a breach of privacy.

Debra Muth 40:34
I’m speechless on that. Like, I could go so many directions and

Jody Harty 40:39
So many like down the rabbit hole.

Debra Muth 40:41
Yes. Exactly. Exactly. I mean, unbelievable. Unbelievable.

Jody Harty 40:47
Yeah. And this is why I say like, it is so important that if you see something, you might be the one person that can help a family that is grieving, that can help a family get answers. And you know what, in my case, hypothetically, say they did check devices, and it was fine. Even if he had hung up the phone one second beforehand, even if you know, it showed nothing, you know, who’s to say he wasn’t reaching for a water bottle. You We can’t prove that right. But at least it would give this family closure that everything was on the up and up and that he was not. But unfortunately, in our case, in Canada, employers have the right to check Facebook to see character and who you’re like, our police force cannot. And I have stalked this guy’s Facebook, and he has distracted driving videos. He has distracted driving videos of him operating a grater and heavy machinery. He has distracted videos of him driving down a highway and recording his family in the backseat. Our law enforcement is not allowed to use that as probable cause.

Debra Muth 42:08
So do you have the opportunity to change the law in your country? Or are you stuck with this law?

Jody Harty 42:16
As of right now, with everything going on, I’m still in litigation, I’m still in the startup phases of my coaching practice, right? Because you don’t just all of a sudden become educated and have like writing business. Right? So and still dealing with my recovery, still dealing with the things that I need to do. I’m not in a mental position to start advocating for laws to be changed. But I think that that will come good, because I am not the only parent that has experienced this. And the stories like mine, actually, the more you talk about it, are not abnormal, they’re actually than normal. And that’s really sad.

Debra Muth 43:05
Very, very sad. Well, Jody, I want to thank you so much for sharing this story. With the world. It’s not an easy story. It’s every time you tell it, I’m sure it just breaks your heart in so many ways. But I want to applaud you for sharing because sharing helps others heal, and it’ll help you heal to each step of the way. But I’m also very glad that you’re taking what you did to heal and survive, to help others to heal and survive and thrive during difficult times. Lord knows we have a lot right now. And many people have more. And it’s an honor to have you here. And I’m sure it’s an honor to have people work with you through trauma and and share your gifts. So thank you for stepping up and being above all of that. And in taking the traumatic episode you had and turning it into something that is amazing and can really touch people’s lives. Thank you so much for that.

Jody Harty 44:08
Oh, thank you, Debrah, for having me. It’s it is life changing work. And all I can say is don’t be scared. Reach out to that person that may be able to help you because it’s worth it. It is worth it and you will never regret it.

Debra Muth 44:25
Wonderful. Well, thank you so much for being here.

Jody Harty 44:29
You are welcome.

Debra Muth 44:33
Wow, what a powerful, powerful interview with Jody Harty. I’m rarely speechless, but I am honestly very speechless at this. There are so many things we could talk about on inadequacies of our legal system and our healthcare system. But what I’d like to end on is The power in her ability to heal not just herself, but her family. You know, so many of us can listen to this and think our traumas not as big. My injuries weren’t as severe. I didn’t lose a child. However, in all of that, the message that I hear from her is the power of your ability to heal and grow and change. And it doesn’t matter. If you had a tragic accident, it doesn’t matter if your illness is not, you know, multiple plates and screws. It is your journey, it is your healing is your trauma, it is your conflict. And you have every right and every power within you to get over that hump and heal. And it’s truly about surrounding yourself with the people that can change your life, the people that can get you to the next step, the people that are going to support you in this growth journey, and support you in a way that lifts you up and doesn’t tear you down. That is what’s important. That is how we’re the message that we’re taking away from Jodi today. So if you’re listening to this, and you’ve had an issue, find your people find your tribe, get better get healthy, make a difference in the world. And I want to put this last piece out for anyone who’s listening that’s in Canada. If you can help Jodie, with her situation, if you can help change the law in Canada, so that this doesn’t happen to another person, please help her. She is not in the place right now to change the law. But some of you may be some of you may know how to do it, who to do it who to rally around. This law needs to be changed. Somebody needs to be held accountable for little Marley in the next little Marley doesn’t have to happen if this change could take place, so please reach out to her if you can help her. Be powerful be strong today. And be well my friends. Hey, it has been really great sharing this time with you guys on the let’s talk wellness now podcast. If this episode has helped you or you feel as though this episode would help someone else we’d love for you to leave us a review. Share this podcast and if you don’t want to miss the most exciting episodes we have coming. We’d love for you to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes or Google Play. Until next time, live every day to the fullest

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