Episode 161: Testosterone, Sex and Women with Dr. Matt Chalmers

Dr. Deb and Dr. Chalmers talk about the benefits for women to use testosterone to build muscle, increase metabolism and enjoy amazing sex! Is it all estrogen or all testosterone for women? Listen to the experts. 

Do not miss these highlights:

07:10 Why women need testosterone hormones

08:28 There’s been studies to prove that women who have deficient testosterone have a significantly increased risk of breast cancer

10:45 Testosterone gives your heart a protection 

12:31 Having no sex drive or no sexual function is not okay

17:50 Testosterone substantially increases your metabolism

18:52 What happens to women’s metabolism as they age and how testosterone reestablishes that metabolic rate for women in 50’s

22:53 How stress could affect testosterone level even in late 20’s or 30’s 

30:47 Testosterone helps a lot with energy and sex drive but we’ve also got to consider the physiology needs

32:43 Women are the linchpin of the family, the glue that holds everyone together, If they fall down and fall apart, the whole family falls apart

39:30 If we want to live that quality of life the way we want it to be… We have to take wellness and health seriously

Resources Mentioned

Whether you are recovering from an illness or just looking to maintain your current overall health, schedule a consult with us at Serenity Health Care  by calling  (262)522-8640 or visit https://www.serenityhealthcarecenter.com 

About our Guest:

Dr. Matt Chalmers is a health and wellness expert, author and speaker who specializes in the areas of long-term wellness, nutrition, women’s health, weight loss, athlete wellness and holistic healing. With a client list that includes professional athletes, business executives, politicians and celebrities, Dr. Chalmers takes a holistic-based approach with patients to identify and treat the source of their issues. Medical doctors regularly refer patients to Dr. Chalmers when traditional medications and treatments are not working with their patients. Dr. Chalmers works with patients to identify, treat and manage a wide variety of issues, including weight loss/gain, digestive problems, chronic fatigue, pain, injuries, celiac disease, chiropractic problems, fibromyalgia, carpal tunnel syndrome and plantar fasciitis. He also provides patients with hormone therapy guidance and treatment. Dr. Chalmers is the author of the bestselling book “Pillars of Wellness,” which helps readers cut through the information overload about wellness, exercise and diet to figure out the actions they can take that will have the greatest impact. The book details how to fuel the body physically, mentally and spiritually. Dr. Chalmers received his degree of Doctor of Chiropractic from Parker Chiropractic College in Dallas. He has a Bachelor of Science in Health and Wellness, is a Certified Clinical Chiropractic Neurologist, a Certified Chiropractic Sports Practitioner and has additional certifications in spinal decompression and quantum reflex analysis. He currently lives in Dallas with his wife. More information is available at www.ChalmersWellness.com.





Transcript for Episode #161:

Debra Muth 0:02
Welcome to Let’s Talk Wellness Now, I’m your host, Dr. Deb. This is where we talk about everything wellness, and learn to defy aging, and live our lives on our own terms. Welcome to Let’s Talk Wellness Now.

I’m your host, Dr. Deb and I have with you with me today, Dr. Chalmers and he and I are going to talk all about hormones, sex, testosterone, and how it not only affects your ability for a great sex life, but also how it affects your cognitive ability, and the ability for you to stay in the game longer in your work life in your home life. And we even talk about why moms need to take care of themselves, and use testosterone so that they can benefit from all of the amazing things that hormones do for us. I am super excited to have Dr. Chalmers with me today. Because all of you know that I love talking about hormones, it’s one of my favorite topics to talk about. And there are so many aspects that hormones can benefit us if we know how to do them. And we know how to do them. Right. So let’s get started here, right after a message from one of our sponsors.

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Welcome back to Let’s Talk Wellness Now. I’m your host, Dr. Deb. And I have an exciting guest with me today. And we are going to talk about one of my favorite topics that you guys know I love to talk about. So welcome to the show.

Dr. Matt Chalmers 2:56
Thank you very much. How are you guys?

We’re fantastic here. Where are you from?

Frisco, Texas. So basically Dallas.

Debra Muth 3:03
All right, so you’re in the heat of the area. I’m in the north. So we’re Wisconsin. It’s cold here right now. But actually, we’re having a heatwave. It’s like 39 degrees today. So we’re loving it.

Dr. Matt Chalmers 3:16
You can have all of that.

Debra Muth 3:18
Well, I say the same thing in the summertime, you can have the heat of Texas.

Dr. Matt Chalmers 3:22
I’ll take it. I’ll take it. It’s a fair trade.

Debra Muth 3:25
Alright. Well tell us a little bit about yourself.

Dr. Matt Chalmers 3:29
So, you know, it’s kind of funny, because the way that I got into the wellness game, I had a patient come in for a disk issue. And he just sold his business for $27 million. The guy’s a yummy, 60 years old. And I start talking about like, what are you going to do? That sounds amazing. I know what I would do. I said, there’s this really cool path where you land in Normandy and you go down, you follow this world war two trail unit in Italy. And it’s it’s great. And he has stopped his My knees hurt so bad. When I get to the top of the stairs, I gotta sit down arrest because I can’t walk my dogs around the block without getting tired. He’s like, so I’m not going to Italy. He said there’s some restaurants I want to try. And there’s some TV shows I want to catch up on. He’s like, so that’s my plan. I’m like, okay, cool. So I walk out the room, and I just kind of lost it. I was like, This guy has worked his whole life. He’s got all the money in the world. He’s still young, but he’s traded his health and so much that he cannot do any of the things that you’d want to do when you retire. I said, that’s I can’t be me. How do I not be that person. So that’s led me on this long journey of figuring out the best way to look forward and be proactive and fix things before they happen. And so that’s basically what wellness is for me. And so that’s kind of where this all started and how I kind of got into it. So that’s more or less what’s going on in a nutshell.

Debra Muth 4:43
I love that Dr. Chalmer. So I see that same thing. There’s so many people who have worked their entire life to get to a place where now they have the time, money and no energy and no physical capacity to do what they love. And this leads us into the company procession of women, right? Because women do this all the time, we burn the candle at both ends, we’re working hard. We’re given our love and our affection to the kids and to everyone else, until it comes time to give that same love and affection to our partners. And then we can’t do that anymore, because we’ve given it all away someplace else. Correct. So tell us how you got interested in working with the female population.

Dr. Matt Chalmers 5:25
So it’s kind of strange. I didn’t really I wasn’t really ever geared towards women, I do kind of more or less the same amount of work with women than I do with men. The problem is that nobody does any work with women. So it just kind of looks like I do a tremendous amount of things for women. And I’m just like, No, I just, they’re just people. And so you know, I work on them, like I work on them. But like I said, No one works on women. I mean, I try so hard to push back against the stereotype that women get the shaft in every aspect of life. Because I don’t think that’s true, but it is 100% true in medicine. We still have women who their doctors won’t prescribe them testosterone. We have women who their doctors, you know, are not looking at them properly. They’re not looking at the psychological function. They’re not looking at, you know, the stresses that go into these women. So it’s, it’s very, very, I just feel like there’s not enough done. And so I just as I started doing those things, all these women started coming in, they like, my doctor won’t do that for me. So will you help me? So I said, okay, yeah, that’s fine. And so that’s kind of how that that’s kind of grown into the whole working with so many women.

Debra Muth 6:29
Yeah. And you’re so right, the population of people. You know, testosterone is a taboo across the board for men, but extremely bad for women, right? That’s the message that they get is, you don’t want to be a hairy man, do you? You don’t want that facial hair, do you? You don’t want to be super buff, do you? That’s what they tell these women. This is what I hear all the time from them. And it’s like, it’s not like that, like, we’re not going to give you testosterone that’s equal to that of a 300 pound bodybuilder, you know, we don’t want you to be that way. We still want you to be soft and supple and shapely. But we don’t want you to have 80% body fat either. That’s why you need testosterone.

Dr. Matt Chalmers 7:16
Well, it’s funny because like, you know, at the very most that I’ve we’re comfortable giving women testosterone. So we have some that are in that 200 range. If a man came in with 200, testosterone, I would just be freaking out because they need to be at 1000 or 1200. So when you look at it, yes, men have more testosterone than women, but women desperately need it. You know, osteoporosis, heart issues, blood vessel issues, you know, energy, fat, and then the biggest one. And I was told by women, I have to always tell the story at a 50 just over 50 year old woman come in, and she’d been on testosterone for a couple months. And she said I had the first orgasm I’ve had in five years last night. She said was that from the testosterone? And I was like, Yes. She’s like, Okay, you didn’t tell me that you need to lead with that next time. I was like, I’m sorry, your rights for the past, like five years, I’ve been making sure that I lead with that story. Yeah, because it is so important. I mean, we know that testosterone fixes erectile dysfunction. And we know that the clitoris and the penis are the same tissue embryonically. So it didn’t occur to anybody else, that it would actually really help female function as well. And I don’t understand why nobody thought of that or said anything. But that’s, that’s very, very true. So testosterone is critical for a lot of things.

Debra Muth 8:26
It’s huge. You know, we forget that testosterone has so many benefits. And there’s been studies to prove that women who have deficient testosterone have a significantly increased risk of breast cancer. That has been documented. And I can tell you, we see a ton of women with testosterone deficiency. And the nice thing about it is even if you have a predisposition to not being able to use estrogen, you can usually use testosterone, which will then help with the lack of estrogen that you’re having, because it’ll convert that way. But oftentimes, people don’t think about that, and they won’t give testosterone because God forbid, why would we do that? But it might be the great answer that somebody who can’t use estrogen is looking for. And people don’t think about that.

Dr. Matt Chalmers 9:11
Well, and I always tell women you don’t want unless you’re trying to have a baby we’re trying to have a baby is a whole totally different conversation. But if you’re not trying to have a baby, you don’t want estrogen, hot flashes, night sweats, vaginal dryness, joint pain and headaches. Those are issues with estrogen. As long as you don’t have those, you don’t need more estrogen. And like you said, testosterone converts into estrogen. So if you give a woman testosterone, let it convert to estrogen fix the issues we just talked about, then you only have to give this one one drug. So that makes life a lot easier to play with and to figure out how to deal with detoxification and things like that. So and, you know, that’s the big thing if you if you Google HRT or hormone replacement therapy and cancer, you’re going to find 1000s of articles of HRT and cancer, but they’re all tied to estrogen, giving women estrogen. So that The other piece, you know, if you look at even the easy stuff, osteoporosis, Osteoporosis is a lack of testosterone or plastic formation is driven by testosterone. Why we’re not getting every single woman in America who has osteopenia or osteoporosis testosterone? I still don’t understand why we’re not. So this is a much bigger issue that people really I think, I think they think, Oh, it’s just about, you know, energy and fat and sex. No, it’s about the way your body actually works.

Debra Muth 10:25
Yes, even heart protection. I mean, we see testosterone it has, it does have a heart protection. So I know you’re gonna go out and Google this, and you’re gonna see testosterone causes heart disease, it can if given incorrectly if given in the wrong form, if given too much, but nine times out of 10, it’s going to protect your heart instead of causing heart issues.

Dr. Matt Chalmers 10:46
Absolutely. So the thing is, people always talk about well, testosterone gives you big muscles that heals and grows your muscles, your heart is a muscle, the tunica media is a muscle. So the blood vessels all have muscles on the inside of them. DVTs are defined from both sides are because the muscles get weak and they bled blood vessels collapse. If you have more muscle tone, which is helped by testosterone, they don’t collapse as easily. So that’s another piece of that so and the heart rate, the heart disease, heart issues are because they let the h&h of the hemoglobin and hematocrit levels get too high. If you let the blood get too thick, it’s harder for the pump or the heart to function. So all you need to do is make sure that you check your blood every every quarter, say is it is the h1 h2 high if it is go donate blood, save three lives, maybe your own, and everything’s fine. So this is a very safe and very easy thing to work with. If you just know what you’re doing. And I teach people, this takes me up to three hours to teach you know most Doc’s how to do this. So it’s not difficult. People just didn’t take the time to learn.

Right. Well, and not to mention the fact that testosterone has motivation, creativity, drive energy, all of that, that we lose as we get older. And how many times do we hear patients say, you know, I just don’t feel like doing anything anymore. Your guy that had $20 million, didn’t, yes, didn’t have the energy or the ability to do it because he was in pain. And he didn’t have to be in pain. And women go through that same thing. You don’t have to sit on the couch and just say, I don’t really care about doing anything anymore. And well, I’m 70. So I’m not supposed to care anymore. It does not have to be that way. I hear this every day that well. I’m 70 I’m not supposed to do anything. I’m 70 I’m supposed to be that plump, little grandma. Huh? Doesn’t have to be that way ladies doesn’t have to be?

Well, that’s one of the things that irritates me the most is like, well, like my doctor said it was normal for my age. Underage drinking is normal. Is it acceptable? We don’t have to take we don’t have to decide that being broken and sore and fat and having no sex drive or sexual function is okay. We can decide to change that even if it’s normal. Don’t be normal, be better. I don’t understand why people also don’t recognize this from that, from that standpoint. So yeah, the normal of your age thing really, really starts?

Debra Muth 13:01
Well, I like to explain to people you know, you’ve lived half your life with hormones. And now you’re going to get the luxury of living half your life without them. Now, imagine that first half of your life living with no hormones, and now living the second half of your life the same way, like why would we do that? Why would we want to live 50 years without hormones, and just continue to see our life decline? When for the first time we have an opportunity to live our life the way we want and feel amazing for it?

Dr. Matt Chalmers 13:30
Oh, absolutely. Yeah, I totally agree. I don’t understand like people. It’s not the people. It’s the doctors who are telling us you don’t need this, you don’t need that. The reason I started my first hormone therapy company, was because I kept getting all these women with osteoporosis. And I was like, go back to your doctor asking about you know, where your testosterone level and just have them write a script for testosterone. Dozens of women who had different doctors all came back to me this is about 10-15 years ago. And they would say, My doctor said that testosterone is a male hormone and women don’t need it. And after enough doctor said that to these patients, I was like, Fine, I’ll do this. And so that’s when we started doing it. It was entirely again, I didn’t mean for it to be a women’s thing. But that’s why we started it was for these women who had osteoporosis and all these issues that their doctors weren’t properly taken care of. So yeah, it that’s the that was the old thinking was that? Well, you’re not supposed to have this stuff when you get older. You’re supposed to have all these problems. Well, no, why don’t we just not have problems?

Debra Muth 14:27
Well, because if you’re in a fee for service model, you need people to have problems so that you can keep them coming back to you month after month and giving them more and more drugs. That’s why we do that.

Dr. Matt Chalmers 14:40
You know, that’s, I try so hard to push that thought out of my mind right now. It’s not a financial thing. They just don’t know what they’re doing. So, but it’s like the statin thing, like people give statins I’m like, Well, what’s your calcium score? Like they didn’t say that? I don’t know what that is. I didn’t do that. I’m like, the calcium score shows how much plaquing you have If they’re giving you drugs for plaquing, and they don’t know much plaquing you have, I’m concerned why they’re giving the drug. So yeah, I guess I guess at the end of the day, maybe there is more of a financial incentive for them that I’m willing to admit to. But yeah, it does line up better and the way you put it, so

Debra Muth 15:18
that that is just ignorance, right? I mean, and I don’t mean ignorance to be negative or degrading for these Doc’s, however, when you choose as a practitioner not to continue to learn, and not to continue to grow as a practitioner with what’s happening in your industry and the time, then you’re ignorant, and you choosing to be ignorant, instead of choosing to learn what can help your patients live the best them. And that’s a problem.

Dr. Matt Chalmers 15:47
Correct. Now, that’s, that’s, I see that literally every single day. But the nice thing is, I’ve got a lot of Doc’s now, who will call me like, look, I’m really good at these things for my patients, and I have you work on this stuff for them. So it is to the point now where and I will say that if a doctor doesn’t know what they’re doing with testosterone, then choosing not to do anything with it is actually the right call. Because if you don’t know what you’re doing, you can be dangerous. So if you don’t do it on a regular basis, send out to somebody who does it. See, we’re starting to kind of recognize that and so they’re starting to do it. So yes, that is that is the upside. It is.

Debra Muth 16:21
Yeah, well, and I see doctors a lot that will call our local compounding pharmacy and say, I don’t know how to do this, but my patient wants this. Can you help me prescribe this? Nine times out of 10, the compounding pharmacist is going to help them they know how to prescribe, they know how to dose things, they’ll help them learn along the way so that they can do some of this, which is okay, it’s a great place to start. But like your expertise and my expertise, you still need somebody to help navigate that, to watch the lab work to watch the symptoms to tweak it here and there. It’s not as simple as saying, I’m going to prescribe five milligrams of testosterone and you’re going to be good for the next five years. And I don’t have to really do much with it. No. So let me tell you, if people if you’re doing that with your doc, because they are willing to prescribe it, it’s covered under your insurance, I would really encourage you to seek out someone like Dr. Chalmers or myself or one of the other great experts in this area that can help you really dial it in for you.

Dr. Matt Chalmers 17:22
Yeah, that’s one of the first of August me like I’m doing tests with my doctor, like, great. Like, when was your last blood work? I don’t know, we did like a year ago. Okay, we have no, they’re not tracking your HNH. Like the only thing that’s dangerous about this is you have to track quarterly. So I do see that a lot. One of the things I see quite often is people come in, and they’re like, I’m on test and this now but I have these other questions. They’re not giving nutritional advice. And the reason this is important is that we have to understand that testosterone substantially increases your metabolism. Metabolism is the creation of new cells and the eradication of old cells. So the example I use is if you build 10 tables a month, you only need supplies for 10 tables. But if you greatly increase the production to 100 tables, you need a lot more resources. So we need to also give more Co-Q10, more methylated B vitamins, more omega three fatty acids, because your cells are built with phospholipids. So we need to give the body more nutrition, a more macro and micronutrients than it was getting earlier. And that’s one of the big things I see people not doing. It’s not increasing those co-Qs and B vitamins and specifically Omega acids. That’s the only other thing I see a lot of people are not doing but it is it is starting to kind of turn around. So that is beneficial.

Debra Muth 18:40
Yeah, that is true. And if you don’t have somebody that knows that and understands that that is a problem. But let’s focus on something you said because I think our listeners are gonna love this conversation is testosterone increasing metabolism. So what happens to women’s metabolism as we age? Well, it tanks so then you become this fluffy, soft. Let’s just say fluffy. That’s a nice word fluffy and soft. And women don’t like that we liked being younger, and I see it all the time, or women come in and say I’ve never had to worry about what I eat. I’ve only had to exercise three times a week I could eat and drink whatever I want until I turned 50 Or until I turned 45 How do we use testosterone to re establish that metabolic rate for these women?

Dr. Matt Chalmers 19:29
That’s a great question. So it depends on the woman within within range. But typically if we can just get the get it somewhere between 80 and 150 in that in that range, then typically the metabolism kind of turns back on everyone so we’ll have to start doing okay. Because of what what you’re doing, you know, cardiovascularly or weight wise and because of your goals, we need to shift your exercise and kind of shift your diet around a touch. But typically, like like you said, if the person comes into sees me and says look, until I hit 45 I can eat anything I want workout like this, everything Fine, if we pull their testosterone and it’s way low, and we’d be back up, I’d say 78% of time, it basically goes back to the way it was beforehand. So a lot of that stuff kind of fixes itself. Now, like I said, if someone comes in says, Well, I want a bigger, butt what exercises you’re doing, you’re not doing the right exercises for that. So I’ll teach you those are I want my arms to I want the bat the bat flappy thing on the back of my tricep to go away. I’ll teach you how to tone that back up. But those are little things that we have to add in. But I’d like 75-80% of the time, just getting the hormones fixed, will eventually put them back where they were.

Debra Muth 20:34
Yeah, you know, I really wish that every woman and man for that matter, would do a hormone test at their prime, you know, 20 years old, I want to see a 20 year old prime and you keep that hormone result till you’re 40. So that we know what you were were in your prime, you know, we don’t know like, maybe you ran a high testosterone when you were 20. And now you’re 40 and your testosterone is dropped 30 points, that’s huge for you. Or maybe you didn’t have a lot of testosterone, then but you should have had, and you have some problems with that. But if we knew what you were at your prime, we would know how to dial that in perfectly to get you back to that when you were 45 or 50. But we don’t ever do that. And that’s bad.

Dr. Matt Chalmers 21:18
there’s a lot of studies that we don’t do that we’re doing with people who when they’re younger, you know, like the calcium CTS that echocardiograms, but the biggest one I see is sleep studies. Yeah, we’ll get people in who have migraines, who have seizures, who have anxiety, depression, all sorts of stuff. And I’ll look through their labs. And I’m like, all your labs seem okay, where your studies and I’m like, but I don’t see a sleep study, we’ll sit them out for a sleep study, we find out that they just stopped breathing in the middle of the night, we’re getting a CPAP. And all of a sudden, all those issues start going away. So you know, that’s the other one that I like to do. Because if we get a 21 year old male who has low T, the first thing I do is a sleep study, because 75% of time, 31 minutes low, they’re not breathing at night. So we fix the apnea test levels come back up. It happens with women, too, but it happens more with men than you think.

Debra Muth 22:05
Mm hmm. And that’s something that nobody ever thinks about when you’re connecting hormones together at all.

Dr. Matt Chalmers 22:10
Yeah, yeah. Which is unfortunate. Because if you’re if you’re hypoxic, the inflammation of the brain function and pituitary function will be reduced, the heart function will be strained and reduced. So it’s should be part of the things that we just naturally think about when we think about the whole access. Is the pituitary telling the body to do what it’s supposed to do? It’s not why not? Is it getting oxygen? Is it getting food, those other things are big players as well. But the biggest thing we like to look at is even if your body is really healthy, and doing what it’s supposed to stress shifting into a sympathetic nervous system will directly inhibit testosterone function, your stress. So stress and testosterone are indirectly proportional, higher stress, lower T. So if you look at your life, and you’re like, you know what, I’m 30, but I’ve got, you know, a partner, I’ve got kids, I’ve got a job, I’ve got all this stuff, you might not be able to be naturally where you need to be testosterone wise, even then. So that’s why I don’t care when people come in you when you do full wellness with us we do with all those tests. Hormone tests are always we always check. Yeah, because I would say 70% of time with these, these high end individuals who are highly stressed, even in their late 20s, or 30s, their testosterone is too low. You’ve gotta fix that. So we don’t have problems down the road.

Debra Muth 23:26
Yeah, we see a lot of that, too. I’m amazed at how many young 20-25 year olds I’m seeing that don’t have any testosterone like, like 200 or less. And I’m like freaking out because like, you should be at your prime. And you know, you’re like a 90 year old. I’ve seen 90 year olds that have better testosterone than that on their own. And yet they are functioning and you question like, how on earth are you functioning like this? And it always blows me away that somehow the body adapts, but then when you get them back to where they should be, it’s like, oh, life is grand. I feel amazing. And they didn’t know how good they could feel.

Dr. Matt Chalmers 24:08
Yeah, well, it’s funny, because so I was working with a he’s just turned 30. And he’s single guy, and we got his test. Also, we got everything fixed back up. And he goes back in if he’s been on test for like six weeks, he’s like, Dude, I did no idea how many women were in my gym. I was like, What are you talking about? He was like, it was like, apparently I didn’t, I didn’t even care. Like now I look around. I see all these women all over the place, like they just materialize out of nowhere. And I’m like, Well, it’s because you had no sex drive. That’s right. working right. So but and that’s, that’s one of those things that imagine that at least 20 year old male who’s single doesn’t even recognize women who are in sports bras and yoga pants all around him. Yeah, that’s how bad your body function gets. So it’s it can be bad. It can be really damaging to relationships as well. Oh, definitely. We’ve had a lot of women come back in and say now that my sex drive by sex function is up Am I sex drive is up. My husband’s a lot nicer my relationships a lot better my tie that correlation together. Yeah, like, yeah, I get it. And so I’ve had people, like I said, say, you know this saved our marriage. Yes, we had a lot of problems and now we’re better. So this goes more like people well that’s quality of life. Okay, fine, you’re not going to die. But you know, having a good marriage live having a good eye, no anxiety, no depression, that’s massive. What we were talking about earlier, where you’re I just, I just don’t have I just don’t want to do anything. I just want to sit in my bed and not do anything. That’s literally the clinical definition of depression. You don’t have to hate yourself. It’s just do you want to do anything now then you’re depressed by definition. So getting that drive back in life and deciding that you want to go out and be part of the world, again, is huge. And again, that’s a hormone neurotransmitter thing. Yeah.

Debra Muth 25:50
And it is huge. And I’m glad you brought up the part of relationships, because I think that’s so important. Because I see it every day with women, you know, I could care less if I ever have sex again, it doesn’t feel the same. I can’t reach orgasm. It’s frustrating for me, it’s frustrating for them. So we just stop, we just don’t. And that’s the hardest thing for our relationship. And it’s the hardest thing actually, from a woman’s perspective. You know, when you lose your sense of sensuality, now you’ve become an asexual being and it’s, you become a bitch, let’s be real, like, we become a bitch. And now all of a sudden, everything that everyone does in our life is irritating us. And it doesn’t have to be that way. Because if we were intimate, and we were sensual, and we were that loving female that we had always been, you won’t find all of those things in your life that irritate you so much. And that is just the truth of the matter.

Dr. Matt Chalmers 26:43
Absolutely. Well, the other thing is, is that and this is just how men work. You know, we’re a lot more forgiving of things that are going on in our life, as long as we’re having sex on a regular basis. So yeah, they all deal joke, you know, have sex and bring a sandwich and men are completely content with their world. That’s true. And people joke about I don’t think people understand how true that is.

Debra Muth 27:04
That is true. Yes.

Dr. Matt Chalmers 27:05
That’s a giant part of the relationship for men. So that makes everything kind of easier on everybody.

Debra Muth 27:11
Yeah, well, and I think we forget to that men, sex for men is an outlet for their stress. That’s how they relieve stress. For women, that’s different, you know, we don’t relieve our stress that way we could if we had more testosterone, we would, and everybody would be happier. But it’s it’s not one of the ways that we do that. However, like you said, if you want your relationship to be good, and you want it to be strong, you want to have some intimacy there. And if you stop receiving the intimacy from your partner, your partner’s going to stop giving it and then that becomes even a bigger cycle of problems for us. You know, we want them to touch us, but they’re not going to touch us if every time they touch us, we’re like, Why are you touching me? Stop touching me, I’m not having sex with you. You know that that doesn’t send the greatest message to our partners. But we forget that that’s what we do. Whether we physically say it or not, even in our actions, we do that. And that pulls that relationship apart even more.

Dr. Matt Chalmers 28:11
Absolutely. And the other fun thing is, I don’t know how I’ve talked to doctors who don’t like the five love languages, but I actually do. Yeah, if the way that you you show a man or your partner love is through physical contact and sex, and you pull that back the way that you receive love, whether it’s gifts or words of affirmation, or whatever it is that you that fills your tank, you’re going to get less of that as well. Not because someone’s being vindictive, it’s just because it’s just, it just starts drying up as long as because you can only give what you have, right? If a man’s not doesn’t have a large, full tank of love, he’s not gonna be able to give you what he doesn’t have. So that’s the other piece is that, you know, sometimes we talk about relationships and women, that’s not their thing. But they’re like, my husband’s just not he used to be really nice and say all these things, but he’s not anymore. And I was like, Well, I don’t get I don’t really love her last, I guess I just haven’t fallen out of the habit of doing that. And so we see these things a lot, because, you know, and then as the sex picks back up, now all of a sudden, the way that she needs to be be shown love picks back up, and it’s not a vindictive thing. It’s just that that’s just kind of we have the fuel to give.

Debra Muth 29:23
Absolutely, absolutely. I created a program called sexcess. And it talks about these kinds of things like what can we do to reignite because when you’ve pulled apart for so long, it’s hard to get started again, right? It’s hard to remember like, well, what what do I do? Like how do I flirt again? You forget those things a little bit. And so this program helps people learn how to do some of that again, make things fun, again, how to reconnect and rekindle some of those flames that we forgotten. You know, text messaging is great. So you send a little text message with some emojis throughout the day to let your partner know you’re thinking about them. Women need to be primed early on in the day if we want to have sex at night with us. So we need all those little touch points throughout the day, but we also need to give them because if all we’re doing is receiving them, we think negative, if we give them there’s more energy around it, and then our brain thinks about it. And then we want to have sex at the end of the day. And, and you’ve got to do that otherwise, your relationship just becomes this platonic thing that you have sex at 10 o’clock, and it’s over and okay, we roll over and go to bed. And that’s our sex life. And most people don’t want that as a sex life.

Dr. Matt Chalmers 30:32
Correct? Yeah, you know, it’s funny, because one of the things I was talking about, because we get, we’ll get guys in here who are on testosterone, they feel amazing. And they’re like, I want to get my wife or my girlfriend on this too, because it’s gonna help her feel better than we’ll have, you know, she’ll have more sex drive like me, and I’m like, hold on. Sometimes we also need to testosterone is great, we definitely need to add that, right. Let’s also think about adding a nanny and a maid to this whole equation. Because if your wife is exhausted at 4pm, and she’s fantasizing about falling asleep and curling up with a pillow, there’s no sex at eight. Now. So the idea of way to think through the whole day. And yes, as you say, priming the pump early, this is 100%. True. And so lots of times, it’s like, well, how hard is the wife having to work, she’s got to take care of the house, and the kids and her own job and everything else. So if we don’t recognize the whole the whole picture, sometimes we’re gonna miss these things. So yeah, there are other pieces. But like I said, the testosterone helps a lot with energy and sex drive. So we’ve had some women that we make little tweaks to our lives, get the testosterone now all of a sudden, they’re no longer tired of for now they’re tired at nine, which leaves us plenty of time at eight. You know, that really does kind of change things. So do you like to talk about, okay, what’s going on your life, but we’ve got to get the physiology backwards needs to be?

Debra Muth 31:46
Yeah, you’ve got to look at both ankles, so that at the same time, so I’m so happy to hear you say that you’re looking at someone’s life and giving, because we don’t think about that, right? Like, it’s not something you think about with health. But when you’re talking about somebody burning the candle at both ends, somewhere, you have to unload the bus. Otherwise, you’re just going to keep being so depleted, that there’s there is nothing left to give anybody at the end of the day.

Dr. Matt Chalmers 32:11
Yeah, and I see that, I see that all the time, I actually have a mom lecture that I give women because they need to hear it, it’s, you know, women are substantially better than men as far as the emotional piece goes to begin with. And then they can mothers in it becomes much, much stronger. So women will then the mothers will not take care of their kids, their friends, kids, their kids, friends, stray animals stray people that if there’s any time left, at the end of the day, they might think about taking care of themselves. Yeah, problem with this as well, that makes them great servants and correct human beings. It also puts such a strain on them that they can’t function. But I don’t think women understand that they’re the linchpin of the family, the glue that holds everyone together. So if they fall down, if they fall apart, the whole family falls apart. So taking the testosterone, taking that hour a day to read a book, or get a massage, or do whatever you need to do for yourself to keep everything sane is super critical to the family, not just to the to the woman or to the mother, but to the family. So the biggest problem we get into is that women think about doing self care, another 20 or 30 minutes, and they’ll be like, Oh, I just I just felt like I was being selfish. Now, it’s not really for you. It’s for the family. Yeah, do it to you for the family. So that’s, that’s the big piece that I like to make sure everybody understands, is that we need to take a little bit more time, calming down and taking care of the women and having the women take care of themselves.

Debra Muth 33:32
So true. So true, because we don’t where we put ourselves last all the time. And then we become crabby old people, because we’ve taken care of everybody forever. And we stopped taking care of ourselves. And now we’ve looked back and seen 30 years of our life go by and we’re like, wow, I didn’t really enjoy what I was doing. But I didn’t realize it cuz I was so busy doing everything that I never took the time to stop and think about what it was that I wanted. And so now you end up seeing women in their 40s and 50s who are leaving marriages because they’re unsatisfied, because they didn’t put themselves first so that they could put everything else first too. And that’s problem. I see that a lot. You know, women leave marriages like it’s driving through the drive thru at 50. Because they haven’t taken care of themselves, or they’ve put up with too much. And they haven’t spoken up for themselves and advocated for what they needed or wanted. But partially is because they never knew what they needed and wanted when they were younger, because they didn’t take the time to figure that out.

Dr. Matt Chalmers 34:35
Well, and that’s one of those big things is that, you know, it’s unfortunate that you didn’t know what you needed. Yeah. And you found out you’re like, oh, I have to make major changes in my life. So this is one of the reasons that I think that we have in this country a very, very bad view of counseling and therapy isn’t like, Oh, you’re broken or there’s something wrong with you. But the other thing works really well as is as well from a wellness standpoint. If you don’t want to have a heart attack. You do test today to make sure your hearts Okay, yeah, if you don’t want to get divorced, if you want to make sure your relationship is solid, sit down with somebody today. Well, it’s good to make sure that we can fix these little things. Because like you said, if all of a sudden when you’re 30, and you’re talking about these things, and you’re like, Well, have you thought about this, and this and this? And the woman says, Well, no. And now she can think about it. And now you can integrate that into your marriage, so that you don’t, you don’t diverge so greatly that you have to leave the person. So a little bit of wellness, a little bit of pre emptive, work on this, coaching, counseling, whatever, here and there is really beneficial to the relationship into as a person. So that’s one of the other things I really like people to do.

Debra Muth 35:41
Absolutely. You know, taking that time to focus on you is so important.

Dr. Matt Chalmers 35:44
Oh, absolutely.

Debra Muth 35:45
Can you talk a little bit about testosterone and the testosterone rage that people get and their fear around that testosterone rage?

Dr. Matt Chalmers 35:58
Yeah. So there’s been lots of information that we got, when we were after school specials and morning stuff that was 100% wrong. What we typically see people who hate to take steroids and get angry, they were angry people beforehand, and they’re still angry on testosterone. Now, there are some testosterones, who that dirty the liver more than other things. Dynamo was one of them. equipoise. So there’s some of that, and these are not, these are not steroids that we would prescribe for people. These are bodybuilding steroids and things like that. But what we typically see from Eastern medicine is as the kidneys take pressure, we see anxiety and depression. When the liver takes pressure, we see anger, we see temper issues, so something will happen and you’ll get super pissed. And then like an hour later, you’ll calm down and be like, Why was that make me so mad that wasn’t that big of a deal. That’s typically liver, waking up between two and four in the morning. That’s liver congestion, that sort of thing. So cleaning the liver is important regardless. But if you’re taking testosterone and you start, because that will put pressure on the liver, that medication, especially liver, if you start noticing these things, detoxing the liver is a really easy thing to do to help calm everything down. Now, I personally like coffee enemas for this. However, it’s not always easy to talk people into doing coffee enemas, yes, you know, killing parasites, killing yeast, you know, milk thistle, tumeric. You know, these type of things. methylated, B vitamins, specifically, B six, are very beneficial for this as well. But to be honest, we’ve worked with hundreds of people. And I’ve been around 1000s of people on this. And that’s not something that we see, like, typically what we see is we see anxiety and depression go away, we don’t see anger come in. So, you know, I would tell people not to worry about that one as much. And if they start to notice that clean the liver and 95% of time, you’re gonna be good.

Debra Muth 37:53
That’s awesome. And I think that is a problem. When we give hormone replacement therapy in the traditional sense of our world. Nobody addresses the liver or the conversion to the bad estrogens, they just give HRT and send you on your way. And it’s like, Have a nice life. And we’ll see in a year. And you can’t do that you really need to be checking these things and opening those pathways up and supporting the body so they can clear hormones, not just what’s in the bloodstream, but the dirty hormones that were exposed to everyday in our environment, get rid of those things, and you’ll feel a lot better.

Dr. Matt Chalmers 38:28
Absolutely. Like, it’s funny because we have a standard foundational detox that cleans the kidneys, liver parasites, that whole deal. And we’ve had people just do that and feel phenomenal. And then I take them and I’m like, Okay, you were a two, now you’re a seven, we had the testosterone back, and they’re like, I have never, ever in my life felt this good. And I’m like, This is how the body’s designed to work. Yeah, if we clean the things that need to be cleaned, and fix the gut, so that can bring nutrients in. And we put the physiology back together, you will feel amazing. And that’s the goal. That’s that’s wellness, that’s highest quality. So, you know, that’s the big thing. We’re This is a growing idea. The wellness, I think, is a growing idea with functional medicine. So this is something that’s super critical that we’ve really kind of need to get people to understand.

Debra Muth 39:15
Exactly what and especially since, you know, we’re looking at all these baby boomers now that are reaching this age, there is a ton of us. And there’s not as many younger people coming behind us as there are older people going into this older generation. And if we want to live that quality of life the way we want it to be we have to take wellness and health seriously. And unfortunately, we still need people in the work environment at our age, at my age anyway and older. And if we’re going to do that we have to be able to be at the top of our game. And this is one of the things I talked about with my women is if you want to work until you don’t have to anymore or you choose not to. You want to be able to work at the top of your game, not at the lower part of your game when you’re 60 or 70 Like, I have patients that say, I have no choice I have to work. But I don’t think I’m going to have a job because I can’t remember what I’m doing. from one step to the next for I have to learn this new program. And I can’t think my brain doesn’t allow me to think since I hit menopause. And hormones help you do that, so that you can stay in the game as long as you want to.

Dr. Matt Chalmers 40:23
Now that’s, that’s, that’s a giant giant piece I have we treat a lot of CEOs, CFOs C suite executives. And it is amazing to me, how many of them have had that exact issue. Yeah, they’re like, I am struggling every day, keeping up with what’s going on. And like, is it add? Is it this, like, I talked about getting Adderall, I talk about doing this and sick? No, all we need to do is reset the physiology and you’ll be fine. pushing so hard and burning so many nutrients. Yeah, bringing those nutrients in your body is just completely out of gas. So we’ve just got to go back and repair everything, put it back together and refine. And again, I can’t think of a single one of them that who I we haven’t had to put on testosterone, because again, that stress, all these people, these high level functions, they need to be 100%. And they all fit as far as what I’ve tested, they’ve all needed to be on testosterone.

Debra Muth 41:14
Yeah, a lot of them are so deficient. And like you said, it’s because they’re burning the candle at both ends, you know, they burned out their adrenal function, no DHEA, no testosterone, and they’re fried. And the only way we can get them back is to support those kidneys, and that adrenal function and support the hormones that they’ve burnt out.

Dr. Matt Chalmers 41:34
But what are the things that we say is, and I’m not a big fan of statin drugs, but every single human being who gets put on a statin man or woman immediately needs to be on testosterone. Because it destroys that it destroys the functionality of it to create cholesterol and testosterone hormones are built on a cholesterol backbone. So it’s going to greatly affect even if you had perfect testosterone before you’re on statins. Now that you’re on statins, you’re not going to have good testosterone anymore. So that is a big piece that we need to understand.

Debra Muth 42:00
There’s so many things that we give in the medication world that deplete our hormone function, deplete our nutrients. And we don’t recognize that in the traditional medical world. So you give a drug and you don’t care that it’s depleting your B 12. Or depletes your hormones or depletes your vitamin D level or any of that. And then we wonder why six months later, this person’s feeling terrible, after they were put on this medication? And nobody’s looking at that. And that’s a major problem for sure.

Dr. Matt Chalmers 42:30
Yeah, you know, that’s that’s one of the see people come in, and I feel terrible, and this and that my cholesterol. So they say cholesterol, like how long you been on a statin? How did you know? Yeah, because you feel terrible, because you feel terrible. Exactly. And that’s, that’s a big piece. You don’t have to do her on statins shouldn’t be so. But that’s another story about calcium teas. But, you know, it is it is very sad that we are not being proactive enough with our medications.

Debra Muth 42:54
Yeah, we are really not we’ve, we’ve not kept up with learning exactly what we need to do when we’re giving those medications to protect the body.

Dr. Matt Chalmers 43:03
Well, and on that there’s so much I mean, there’s so many meds to come out, there’s so much that comes out on a daily basis, that it’s almost impossible to keep up. So that’s why if people come like, Well, why did my doctor not know and like, I’m sure your doctor knows a lot of other things. This is just one thing that happened to be there. Right? Make sure that you now know that that’s why conversations like this podcast like this are so critical, because people now get information from all sorts of different sources. Tons of stuff that, you know, people come in and tell me every day that I’m like, Oh, that’s good. I need to go research that. So you know, just because your doctor doesn’t know everything either. They can’t

Debra Muth 43:37
Yeah, yeah, it’s hard. You can’t keep up with everything. If you kept up with all the literature, you’d never see patients. So, don’t be able to help anybody, you’d have great knowledge, but you wouldn’t help anybody.

Dr. Matt Chalmers 43:51
But like, I get up at four o’clock in the morning, every day and I’ve had for 12 years. Just so I can keep up just like read and research and answer questions and get ahead. That’s the thing. So, you know, not everybody chooses or can do that. You know, that’s, that’s why we need to rely on podcasts and people like that.

Debra Muth 44:10
So absolutely. It’s a great way to get information out there for sure.


Well, Dr. Chalmers, this has been such a great opportunity to chat with you. I’ve really enjoyed it. Tell our listeners how they can find you.

Dr. Matt Chalmers 44:23
So the easiest thing chalmerswellness.com is the is the primary website for us. And then any of the socials: YouTube, Instagram, @DrChalmers1. Those are the easiest ways to get ahold of us. I do answer things from DMs and stuff like that, but then the the chalmerswellness.com is probably the easiest way to get ahold of us.

Debra Muth 44:41
Awesome. I’m sure our listeners are going to want to reach out to you and have a conversation. So thank you for joining us today.

Dr. Matt Chalmers 44:48
Absolutely. It’s a lot of fun. Thank you.

Debra Muth 44:51
Hey, it has been really great sharing this time with you guys on the let’s talk wellness now podcast. If this episode has helped you or you feel is Though this episode would help someone else we’d love for you to leave us a review, share this podcast. And if you don’t want to miss the most exciting episodes we have coming. We’d love for you to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes or Google Play. Until next time, live every day to the fullest

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